


Uprising

by Rizzleslvr72



Category: Rizzoli & Isles
Genre: F/F, Femslash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-29
Updated: 2012-06-29
Packaged: 2017-11-08 20:18:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 23,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/447116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rizzleslvr72/pseuds/Rizzleslvr72
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jane and Maura have come to a crossroads concerning their relationship. Maura decides to push things along her own way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is the second Rizzles story I wrote.

"So…what do you think killed him?" Jane asked. Even though it was phrased in the form of a question, sarcasm bound it tightly.

Standing side by side, both Maura and Jane peered down at what remained of the young man's torso.  Maura basked in the heat and the smell of sandalwood that seemed to radiate from Jane. Maura's thoughts scattered as she wondered if every patch of skin held that particular scent.  Her stomach knotted, utterly distracting her from the cold sterility of the morgue and making her hyper aware of the need she had for the woman next to her.  Shaken, Maura stepped away slightly and took a deep breath through her nose, filling her senses with the smell of death and alcohol. _Breathe Maura._

Though her senses reeled whenever Jane was in proximity, they had long ago become used to the bombardment and settled quickly.  On the outside, Maura appeared as unflappable as ever, but internally, she quivered as her heart returned to normal sinus rhythm. Intent on hiding her momentary stumble, Maura grabbed several instruments and pretended to study the wound intently.

Fully recovered, Maura deadpanned. "Gun shot wound to the chest."

"Hmm, you don't say." Jane poked at the entry wound with gloved fingers. "What evidence do you have of this?"  Her tone was teasing.

Maura could not help the smirk that gleamed through and the shiver that snaked its way down her spine. She loved the banter between them. It served to titillate and this moment was no different. Maura raised a brow at her friend as she turned the body to the side. The exit wound was the size of a softball. "I'd say that was pretty telling."

Jane whistled. "Looks like something from a bad action flick. That's a big fucking hole."

Maura sighed, "Do you have to sound like you're in an action flick?"

Jane's forehead scrunched. "Huh?"  Then realization dawned. "Ohh, sorry Doc."  Jane cleared her throat. "Big freakin' hole." She proceeded to poke at said hole.

"Sawed off shotgun. At relatively close range," Maura added.

"I wonder if I could fit my fist in here." Jane paused and glanced up at Maura. "Or did you try it already?" Her eyes twinkled with merriment.

"No, no I saved you the pleasure. Consider it my good deed for the day."

"For me, Maura?  I didn't get a chance to get you anything." Jane's twinkle turned into a full blown smile.

Maura's heartbeat roared in her ears just as it always did when that smile was directed her way.  "Think nothing of it. Glad I could be of service."

"I see…you really know how to woo a girl."

Silence permeated the room.

The air was suddenly heavy with tension and regret.

The smile fell from Jane's face and her head lowered. "Maura, I'm –"

"I could show you if you let me," Maura's tone was soft, inviting. She moved closer when dark eyes refused to meet her. Latex gloves were removed quickly. Maura ignored the fine tremor in her hands and reached out, pushing thick curly strands from Jane's face before lifting her chin.

Jane still refused to meet her gaze.  

"Please, Jane. Look at me."  Maura's fingertips travelled to the brunette's cheek.

Eyes still closed, Jane leaned into the touch.

"Please." Maura's voice was husky with need.

Jane's eyes opened slowly.

Maura released a tremulous breath. "You can't run from me…from this forever."

Jane's gaze held acknowledgement, hesitancy and fear.

Brushing her thumb over full lips, Maura whimpered as Jane's tongue swiped her fingertip.

"We could be so good together," Maura murmured as she closed the distance between them.

As their lips drew closer, breathing became ragged.

"So good."

Their lips brushed.

The moment was electric.

Maura leaned in for more. Her tongue flicked out, seeking entrance.

Giving in, Jane groaned.

Thrusting deep, Maura quivered at the tastes and textures surrounding her. Jane's arms wrapped around her waist. Hands dug into her back.

It was only natural for her own appendages to find purchase in thick, luscious dark locks.

Maura moaned as need curled in her belly and fanned out setting every nerve ending on fire.

Jane pulled away at the sound of a door slamming and laughter in the distance. Her chest heaved as if she had run a marathon.

Confused, Maura teetered forward, reaching out intent on rekindling the embrace.

Jane stepped away.

It was enough to sober her. "Jane?"

Jane glanced away then back again.

Bile burned Maura's throat as she read the guilt in Jane's eyes.

"I have a date."

The words were said so softly. Maura was not sure if she heard correctly. The flash of pain in the middle of her chest told her otherwise. "What? Why?"

Jane's expression became incredulous. "Why?" Jane paused. "I can't be what you want, Maura. It doesn't matter what I feel. The few times we've kissed I—"   She shook her head.  "What about my career?"

Maura felt heat suffuse her face. "There's a high probability that no one would care."

"I'm not ready to take that chance."

Anger quick and red rolled through her. "So my pain is inconsequential?"

Jane threw her hands up in the air. "No, Maura! That's not what I'm saying at all." Brown eyes closed as Jane's body sagged.  "I have to go." Then her gaze went everywhere except where it was needed most.

Maura watched the war of emotions. She was on the losing side. "I'll have a preliminary report on your desk in the morning." Maura turned away and covered the mottled body before her with a crisp white sheet.

Silence greeted her.

Maura was alone again.

The sound of her heels against the floor was jarring. Maura tore the lab coat from her body and walked briskly toward her office.  She threw herself into the plush leather wingback chair. Leaning back, she stared up at the popcorn ceiling. At the moment, she felt like a complete and utter failure. The past few months had been an exercise of incredible control and a few words had shattered it.

Maura put forth considerable effort the past month to bring their friendship back to some semblance of normalcy. Jane had been herself again. "Stupid. Stupid. Stupid." She buried her face in her hands.

The stillness around her was deafening.

At home, Maura knew it would be more so. She wanted to put it off as long as possible. Without another thought, Maura reached for her cell phone.

"James? It's Maura. I know it's last minute but how does dinner sound?"

"I didn't expect to hear from you, but I'm not knocking it. Name the time and place."

Maura glanced at the gold Movado on her wrist.  "Le Moulin at 7:30."

She threw the phone on her desk and looked deep within for the cast iron control she had lost what seemed an eon ago.

**

 

 

Having just enough time to rush home and remove the days distastefulness from her palate, Maura did so. She stood in front of the full length mirror in her bedroom and admired her reflection. There was something about slipping beautiful things over her body that made life seem a little more bearable. On the rack the Dolce and Gabanna appeared to be a basic black dress, but on Maura it clung tantalizingly to every curve.

Slim spaghetti straps accentuated defined sculpted shoulders and left toned arms bare. The neck line plunged just enough to give a heart stopping view of full breasts. The dress stopped several inches above her knees, making her legs look as though they went on forever. Her make up was minimal just enough to make her eyes bedroom, smoky and her lips the color of sin. With the perfect Jimmy Choo's, Maura knew she was devastating.

And it would all wasted on James.

Because he was safe.

Having been dangerously close to the edge earlier, safety was exactly what Maura needed. She was going to turn heads and she needed that too. It would be nice to be wanted without conditions.

Less than thirty minutes later, Maura got her wish. As the waiter escorted her to their table, gazes followed her.  James stood with his mouth hanging open, and a little piece of self-esteem reformed. Maura smiled disarmingly at him.  "I hope you haven't been waiting long?"

"Uh, no…no just got here a few minutes ago." He paused. "Maura just now you took my breath away."

Those were words she wanted to hear from another source, but for now Maura would take it. "Thank you. You look very dapper yourself."

He was tall and ruggedly handsome. Dark blonde hair and blue eyes completed the package of perfection. For the life of her, Maura could not remember where they had originally met.

Maura smiled at the waiter and picked up the wine menu. Scanning it quickly, she ordered a glass of Vouvary.

"Crisp and dry? I expected sinfully sweet for you." James said.

"Not tonight." Maura peered at his glass. "Let me guess? Pinot Gris?"

James chuckled. "I felt like something sweet." His eyes twinkled.

Maura was immune. She cringed internally. _I should be ashamed, but I need this._

After tasting the wine offering, she nodded her head and picked up the main menu. "I've been here a few times. I know what's good here."

James bowed his head in supplication. "By all means."

The conversation ebbed and flowed but none of it drew Maura in. She now knew James was in construction, minimally educated, and extremely arrogant. Somehow they ended up on the subject of religion.

"It's been my experience that education and religion are mutually exclusive… the higher the education the less the belief in a higher power."

James nodded. "I believe in God."

Maura bit the inside of her cheek. "Mmm."

"I think it's what all the immigrants who come into this country need. I mean, if they had real religion, they wouldn't steal people's jobs and turn the area they live in into a slum."

Maura paused then muttered. "You're xenophobic."

James' brows came together in consternation. "No, I had nothing against that show. Saw it once or twice. The blond girl was very attractive."

Maura tried vehemently to school her features. She opened her mouth to speak when she experienced a sudden tingle of awareness. Confused, she scanned the crowd until she saw a rather attractive couple being seated near the front.  Maura gulped down her wine as she made out Jane's profile.  _The world can not be this small._

Her heart thudded against her chest, almost drowning out the sound of James' voice, but multi tasking was a skill she learned long ago. Maura gave him a tight smile as he droned on about Mexicans. She squinted in an attempt to make out Jane's expressions toward the darkly handsome man that sat across from her.

Maura clenched her napkin tightly when Jane threw her head back in laughter. Jane was stunning in jeans but even more so in light colored slacks and a cream blouse. Her hair hung loose and flowing, and Maura flashed to the memory of her hands buried in it. She felt hot, flushed and breathing was becoming increasingly difficult.

 _Hyperventilation. Concentrate on taking slow breaths._ The analytical part of Maura's brain muttered. _You knew she was on a date. Concentrate._

The sudden feel of a hand on her knee made her jump up from the table. Her knees banged against the edge with a loud bump. Water and wine spilled to the floor. Within seconds, their waiter was there mopping and picking up. Maura felt every eye turn to her or an entirely different reason. _Concentrate!_

Maura began to panic.

"Maura? Are you okay?" James' tone was concerned.

Maura almost laughed out loud. It was the first time he asked her a personal question. She put her hand to her chest and nodded. "Just a little on edge tonight I suppose." She did not dare look around her, meeting those dark eyes at this second would be her undoing.  "I'm just going to run to the ladies room."

"Okay, take your time." James said.

The bathroom was posh and gloriously empty. Maura walked up to the mirror and peered at herself. Her eyes were wild and her face flushed. Her grasp on the control that made her who she was waning bit by bit daily. Maura sighed in acknowledgement and reached for the sink. Cool water rushed over her wrists.

The bathroom door opened.

Maura nearly jumped at the sound of the lock clicking in place.

Dark eyes met hers in the mirror.

"I-I was here before you. I had no idea." Maura turned, hoping that Jane could see the sincerity in her face.

Jane's arms crossed over her chest and her gaze raked Maura from head to toe.

Maura felt naked, vulnerable, and aroused all at the same time.

"You're here on a date." Jane's tone was matter of fact but laced with disbelief.

”Yes."

"Are you going to fuck him?"

Maura flinched as though she had been slapped. Then, the anger came thick and red. "You have no right to ask me that."

"A woman only dresses like that for one reason."

"My reasons are my own."

"Why did you ever kiss me?  Look at us." Jane's eyes were angry, miserable.

"I couldn't help myself!" Maura nearly screamed. "You wanted…want it too. This thing between us…it wore me down. I have no control over it. It's like by body is rebelling."

"Are you going to fuck him?" Jane repeated. Her voice was ragged.

"No! I just needed someone to look at me…to want me." Maura paused suddenly wanting the answer to the same question. "Are you going to fuck him?"

Jane ambled forward slowly. "No," she whispered.

Maura's vision tunneled as Jane moved closer.

"You're driving me crazy. How do you stay away from something you want but shouldn't have?" Jane's eyes sparkled with need.

Maura's stomach flipped in response.  Hoping to preserve her sanity, she took a few steps back. "I'm not the right person to ask." Her voice quivered.

Jane did not stop until she was a few scant inches away. "What do we do?"  She asked softly.

"Exist…I suppose."

Jane reached out, tracing Maura's cheek with her fingertips.

Breath exploded from her chest in a shaky exhalation. Fire whispered over her skin. Deathly afraid of the burn, Maura attempted to move away from the touch. "Don't… don't tease."

Jane's reply to the tortured utterance was an extremely sad smile. "Maybe sometimes I can't help myself either."

With that, Jane rushed forward crushing her lips to Maura's.

Maura's answering cry was swallowed in the embrace. Completely torn apart, she sagged into Jane's body. Her hands were violent twisting into Jane's hair and digging into her scalp.

Their tongues fought for space, intertwining wetly.

A hard shudder racked Maura's body as awareness and arousal pooled heatedly in her center and spewed outward.

Jane's hands seemed to be everywhere, leaving a molten hot trail.

Of their own volition Maura's hips began to undulate, seeking relief for swollen flesh.  Maura moaned when large hands gripped the rounded globes of her rear, guiding her, encouraging her.

When Jane's leg slipped between them, Maura lost the last shred of sanity. She ripped her mouth away. "Oh, God. Fuck **_me_ … **fuck **_me_.** " She pleaded.

Their gazes met and locked, sizzling the air surrounding them.

Jane's answering groan was desperate. Her hands even more so as she fumbled underneath Maura's dress. Fingertips skirted over sopping wet panties.

A strangled sob was torn from Maura's throat at even the light touch.

"Show me," Jane husked. "Show me what to do."

Maura's excitement doubled, knowing that she was going to be the first to love this woman this way.

"Hey!" The yell was followed by pounding on the bathroom door. "This is a public bathroom you know." There was silence then more pounding. "Is everyone okay in there?" The woman asked.

Maura wanted to cry.

Jane jumped away from her as if burned. Fear chased its way across her face.

Refusing to let the tears come, Maura whispered, "It's okay. They have no idea what you were doing to me… what you wanted to do to me."

Brown eyes lowered.

It was like being drenched in cold water.

Pain radiated.

Maura leaned forward, making sure Jane heard every word correctly. "I never thought of you as a coward, Jane. This won't happen again… until you beg me to touch you and grow a pair."

Without waiting for a reply, Maura walked away. Unlocking the door, she breezed past two women and weaved her way through a sea of tables.

James was forgotten.

Holding her head high, Maura exited the restaurant, knowing that playing it safe was not the answer.

 


	2. Chapter 2

Jane brought her car to an abrupt stop outside her childhood home. She leaned forward pillowing her head on the steering wheel.

It hurt to breathe.

It hurt to think.

Jane released a cry of sheer unadulterated frustration, and in a burst of violence, clenched hands beat vehemently against the steering wheel until they throbbed.

It matched the agony inside perfectly.

Her vision blurred as the alcohol consumed polluted her system but did not quell her internal battle. She pushed shaking hands through her hair and groaned as she caught whiff of a scent that was now familiar.

Her hands, her clothes, and her skin smelled of Maura.

Jane whimpered as memories flooded her.

The level of pain shocked her. She had craved men as well as other women, but it had always been easy to swallow her feelings.

With Maura it was different.

The depth of her need scared her. The swirling emotions surrounding it terrified her. The fear of being found out and shunned by her co workers, her family stopped her cold. It was a battle that was ripping her to shreds.  _Maura was right. I am a fuckin' coward._

Her own apartment, her sanctuary had become tight and foreign as if it did not fit anymore. Maura was everywhere, and tonight that knowledge overwhelmed her.

Jane pushed the car door open and stumbled out. This home was safe full of old comforts, warmth and love without the confusion.

She peered down at her ring of keys looking for the correct one in the dim light of the porch. They swam before her eyes. Jane's hands fumbled over them as she began to shove one after the other into the keyhole.

Seeing movement in the peripheral, Jane waved as her mother peeked from behind the curtain. The door opened and Jane promptly tripped over the doorjamb, tumbling into the house with her feet barely under her.

"I put too much garlic in the sauce tonight. Was getting something to settle my stomach." Angela Rizzoli leaned toward her daughter, sniffing the air.  "Are you drunk?! Is that why you're tripping all over the place?" Her tone was incredulous.

"Apparently not drunk enough." Jane mumbled.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean? You better hope your father doesn't see you like this. Not to mention driving that way!"

Jane cringed as her mother crossed her arms over her chest and stared through squinted eyes. It was an expression she knew well from her teenage years.  Answers were expected or there would be hell to pay. "I-I don't know what it means, Ma. Can I just crash on the couch tonight? You can make pancakes in the morning.  I just didn't want to be alone," Jane finished softly. Her gaze fell to the floor.

"Janie? Look at me. What's goin' on?"  Angela reached out to touch her daughter.

Jane flinched. "Nothing, Ma."

Her mother was having none of it. "I said look at me, Janie."

Reluctantly, Jane looked up. There was no way the hide the pain, the desperation, and the regret. The warmth and expected empathy in eyes so like her own was Jane's undoing. A heart wrenching sob escaped her, and once it started she could not stop.

"Oh, baby. You're scaring me. Everything'll be all right just let it out."

Jane shook her head as her mother embraced her.  "No…no nothing is right. Everything is wrong."

"Is Maura okay? Or what about your partner—"

Jane laughed through the tears, but it held no humor.

"Didja date do something to you?"  Her mother's tone was protective, concerned.

"I-I love my job, Ma," Jane hiccupped. "I love you guys.  I-I don't want to do anything to disappoint anybody. I work so…damned hard. It shouldn't matter… none of it should matter, but it does. You know? I feel so empty."

"Aww, sweetie. You're date was an asshole. Wasn't he?"

Jane was surrounded by the smell of lavender and cooking things. She buried her face in her mother's neck wanting to get lost in simpler time. Her thoughts churned. _I could tell her right now…but I bet she never calls me Janie again._ In answer to the question, Jane nodded.

"You'll find the man you deserve, baby and you won't remember nights like this."

Jane nodded again, and cried harder. She would remember this always as the night she lost a friendship, her anchor that kept her grounded during the most horrible times in her life. Just the thought alone left her weightless and spinning. Hoyt would be dancing in his cell if he knew.

"Shhh, you make yourself comfortable. I'll go get some blankets and a pillow, or I could try to move some things out of your old room—"

"No…s'okay."

Jane watched as her mother peered around the room. "Where's your dog?"

"Neighbor watches her when I work late."

"Oh, you shoulda just taken her to Maura's… before you started drinking that is."

"Yeah, Maura's." Jane whispered the name as if it were pain itself. _There's a lot I should've given her._   Jane wiped at her eyes with the heel of her hands. The tears were an indulgence that had not improved anything at all. Deep down, she knew nothing would.

Jane took off her shoes and curled up on the couch.

**

Korsak sat a coffee on Jane's desk. She could feel his eyes boring into her. Catching him in the act, she glanced up quickly and barked, "What?"

"You look like shit that's what."

Any other time her lips would have quirked to some semblance of a grin. Not this time.  "Your desk is over there." Jane pointed in the vicinity. "I suggest you go use it. You're crowding mine."

Korsak chuckled. "Attitude's shitty too. What's been with you the past few days?"

Had it only been a few days? It seemed like a year.  "Thanks for the coffee." Jane made sure her voice held a note of finality.

Korsak sat on the edge of her desk. "Mmm hm. You wanna talk about it?"

"Noo, what I want you to do is go to your own desk!" Jane's voice rose with each word. She knew by now the others were staing but could not work up the energy to care.

For a few seconds, an eyebrow hike was her only response. "That was supposed to scare me, huh?"

Jane sighed. "It was supposed to do something."

He laughed outright. "You know me better than that, Rizzoli. Now, I'm sure Maura can fix your shitty look—"

"I don't need anything from Maura!"  Jane exclaimed in a panic.

Korsak looked over her head toward the entryway. That and the sound of retreating heels told her all she needed to know. Somehow she had not heard the woman in question coming but she sure heard her going.

"Fuck."

"Hmm, you two fighting? I don’t think I've ever seen that look on her face before."

Jane wanted a blow by blow description of said look but didn't dare ask. "You have to be speaking to each other to fight."

"Ah, ouch."  Korsak's gaze was dripping with sympathy.




Sympathy was the last thing she needed. She had cornered the market for herself. "Just leave it alone Korsak and let me have my shitty day." Jane's tone was pleading. _I don't think anything else could go wrong._

*

The next morning Jane could feel Frost's eyes on her as they walked down the long hallway leading to the morgue. She was tired of the stares and the questions. Jane was well aware that she looked like a putrid bucket of fuck.  Still, she self consciously glanced down at her jeans and smoothed imaginary lines out of the burgundy shirt.  When the moment passed, Jane muttered. "You got something you want to ask me?"

Frost shrugged. "Yeah, was wondering what was up with you and Dr. Isles? It's like twenty degrees colder when we go down there now."

"Everything's fine."  Jane had told the lie so many times that she could almost start to believe it.

He shook his head, "Nah, I don't think so. You guys are all business… and you look like ten day old crap."

"I told you…everything is just peachy." Jane gave him the fakest smile she could muster.

Frost rolled his eyes. "Fine be that way. I know we're not the best of friends, but I can tell when something's wrong."

Jane began to grind her teeth in irritation. "You're right…we're not friends."

"Whatever Jane. Some of us don't scare that easy, but keep going this way and you won't have any friends at all."

Jane increased her pace. He was right, but if she moved fast enough maybe she could outrun it. She pushed the doors to the morgue open and came to a complete stop.

She felt every ounce of blood drain from her face.

"Get out of the way, Rizzoli!"  Frost stepped around her. "Oh."

Oh indeed.

Something maybe everything inside Jane shattered at the sight. She wanted to run. She wanted to hide, but there was nowhere to go except for deeper within.  Like a voyeur at a train wreck, Jane could not take her eyes away.

Maura was kissing another woman outside her office door. She was tall with shockingly red hair. Their embrace seemed to last an eternity before it ended, and to add poison to Jane's already decimated system, Maura smiled radiantly at the redhead.

Choosing that moment to look up, their gazes caught.  Unable to hold it, Jane looked away quickly. The couple started moving toward them. Maura paused in front of them while the redhead made her way out the door, leaving them with a stunning smile as greeting.

"Sorry about that. I didn’t mean—" Maura said breathlessly.

Frost held up his hand. "Don't apologize to me. I don't need coffee now."

"You probably won't want lunch either after you see this." Maura stated, choosing to bring them back to the professional realm.

Refusing to even acknowledge Maura any further, Jane said nothing. Inside she trembled as a thousand hot knives slid slowly into every nerve ending. She felt Maura's eyes on her, assessing and analyzing and wondered what she actually saw--- the stoic detective or an utter mess of a woman.

There was a nudge at her side. Jane looked down at Frost with unseeing eyes.

"Uh, okay what have you got?" Frost asked.

'Jane?"

She could hear the concern the caring in Maura's voice. Bile rose in her throat. _That could be me she was kissing._

"Jane, are you okay?"  The tone was more urgent now.

Jane snapped out of her stupor to see Maura reaching out to touch her. She wasn't ready to let anyone see her fall apart. In order to prevent it, Jane spoke at last. "I'm…fine."

"Oh, okay let's get started then." Maura said.

***

Numb.

It was the only word she could think of to describe it. Jane was aware of the things around her:  the sound of their footsteps, Frost humming an unfamiliar song, and the sound of distant voices.

Maura had moved on.

Jane had no idea she was that forgettable.  The need she had felt from Maura had been an entity in itself. _So was the pain I put her through._   However, something did not make sense.  _If Maura had found somebody else, somebody better why is she still giving me the cold shoulder?_

"I don't think I've ever seen anything like that. I mean, I know what eviscerate means, but I never thought I would see it." Frost said.

With one train of thought derailed, another one formed. "That didn't bother you?" Jane asked. Her voice sounded rusty, unused.

"Ah, she speaks. I'm assuming you mean Dr. Isles kissing that other woman?"

"Yeah, that." Just restating it caused Jane's heart to contract painfully.

"Hell no. It was a lot more fun than watching Wright kiss his boyfriend goodbye in the mornings."

"Wright's gay? You don't have a problem with that?" Jane asked.

"Uh no. He tried to get me to go to a drag show once. Couldn't do it though. I may be comfortable with his sexuality but I don't want anyone questioning mine." Frost adjusted his tie then smoothed down the lapels of his jacket.

"What do the older guys like Korsak say about it?"

Frost's expression was skeptical, "How did you not know about this in the first place?"

Jane shrugged. "I don't get in anybody's business and they don't get in mine."

"Uh huh. Well, far as I know they hazed him a little bit for a while, but he's saved more than one life on the squad. Not a big deal about it now."

A little stirring of hope, swirled inside her. "Must not been that bad. He didn't leave."

"Oh, I'm sure they said some nasty things, but it was probably no worse than they've said to you about your being a woman." Frost paused. "Not that any of that is a good thing."

"Nothing I haven't heard before."

Frost was quiet for several seconds. "Are we bonding? Because I thought you said you weren't my friend."

Jane felt the glimmer of a smile ghost past her lips. "Fuck you, Frost."

He swatted her on the back. "No thanks, but it was nice of you to offer."

A chuckle escaped her. "Don't even think about getting me to sign an IOU."  The banter was a small piece of normalcy that she desperately needed.  For a few seconds, there was no pain, no regret, and she could breathe again.

***

The next few days whizzed by Jane in a blur. Life went on around her; through her and passed her while she contemplated her own existence.  She stood near her kitchen sink peering around in disgust. Her apartment had eaten itself and regurgitated the remains, but that was a battle for another day.

The last bottle in Jane's hands hissed as she unscrewed it and poured its contents down the sink, releasing the smell of hops. It frothed angrily as it completed its descent. _This sure as hell wasn’t helping, and I'm tired of looking like shit in the morning._

Jane snatched the sandwich and glass of milk off the counter before making her way back to the living area where the television blared.  Jo Friday thumped her tail as Jane took the seat on the couch she had vacated long minutes before.

Jane took a monster bite from her sandwich and stared at the television with eyes that saw nothing. Her dilemma was clear. She had to be absolutely sure of who she was before even thinking about exposing herself to anyone in her world.

Maura was right. It took balls, and at the moment hers were the size of peas.

She leaned back and sighed. _She was kissing another woman. What's the point?_  The sandwich suddenly tasted like sand, and the hole in her chest throbbed.

Jane lacked the experience the redhead obviously had, and Maura was barely talking to her.  She threw her meal back on the saucer and guzzled the milk.

What was the point?

The point was, Jane realized, was that she was lonely, achingly so.  Maura had filled a void that had been present in her for as long as she could remember. There was friendship, laughter, loyalty, understanding, and recently passion so intense it had nearly singed her eyebrows.  It was everything Jane ever wanted, and now there was only a huge gaping maw.

Impulsively, Jane reached for her cell phone. Looking at the time, she discarded it. Maura would still be awake.  Her thumb caressed the number one, the medical examiner was the first on her speed dial. She would be awake unless she had company.

Jane swallowed the lump in her throat as images bombarded her of Maura writhing under or over someone else. She groaned and rubbed at her eyes. She was tired, and extremely sick of being that way.

She had to do something that much was obvious. The idea that sparked caught fire. Jane did not stop to examine it for sense or even possibility.  She simply pushed the number three. The phone rang four times before it was picked up.

"Should I be scared that you're calling me this late?"

"It's only just after ten." Jane said.

"Your point?" Frost asked.

"Don't have one. I need to do some research and you were the first person I thought of to help."

"Okay, now I'm really scared." He muttered.

Jane chuckled. "Maybe you should be, but you're gonna come anyway because we're friends."

"Oh are we now?"

Jane sighed. "You know we are. I'm an asshole."

"You said it. I didn't."

"You can say it if you want." Jane added.

There was a few seconds of silence.

Frost laughed. "Nah, s'okay. Looks like you've been beating yourself up enough. So, about this research?"

Jane reached for her laptop. "Give me a minute to look something up." She went to Google and almost smiled. _Maura. Maybe I can…_     "Okay, meet me at Blue in about thirty minutes?" She rattled off the address.

"Blue? What the hell is that?"

"No questions. You already agreed. I'll see you in thirty."  Jane pressed the end button.

She hopped up and over the couch tearing the ratty t-shirt off her body as she went. A few seconds later, Jane stood in front of her closet, pulling out a pair of black jeans and an equally black form fitting top. After struggling to get in the jeans she put on the shirt. Running into the bathroom, Jane applied a coat of lip gloss and pushed a brush through her hair. Her hands were shaking, but she ignored it. It was the first sign of distress, and Jane wanted nothing to do with it tonight. 

Jane grabbed Jo's leash and her leather jacket on the way out.

Jo Friday pranced around her feet.  "I have no idea what I'm doing girl, but I'm gonna do it anyway."  Deciding to stay the course, she knocked on the neighbor’s door and waited.

Nearly twenty minutes later, Jane pulled up at her destination, parking behind Frost's car.  Jane opened the door and could read the tension in his body from where she was now standing.  He walked toward her. .. his gate purposeful.

"No…no, and NO! You deliberately didn't answer your phone because you knew I would be pissed!" He poked at Jane's chest.

"Frost, calm down."

"I will not.  I will not! You brought me to a gay bar."  He whispered the last little bit.

"It's a lesbian bar."

"It's the same thing!"

"Are you going to get hit on?" Jane asked.

"I-" Frost sputtered the deflated. "Uh.."

"Okay then. What's the problem?"

"The principle of the matter?"  Frost's tone was confused.

"You said you would because we're friends."

Frost groaned. "That was low…even for you." He sighed. "Why are we here? What possible research could we be doing?"

Jane could feel the hot flush seep into her face. She was suddenly relieved that it was dark. "I wanted a drink, and I, um, needed someplace safe."  She said hoping her voice held conviction.

Frost threw his hands up. "Oh please. Have you looked at you? You're in shark infested waters here, girl."

"That's why you're here. To run interference."

Frost sputtered again. "What?! I'm supposed to be your boyfriend or something? No one is going to buy that."

"I know that. I'm your hag. You're here to be supportive because I have a broken heart."

"Oh my God! You've been smoking something haven't you? Meth kills, Rizzoli, and you get these pock marks on your face." He pointed an accusing finger at her and his eyes were wide with incredulity.

"Frost."

"What?" His voice was accusing.

"Please? I need this." Jane whispered. She pleaded with her eyes.

Frost breathed out forcefully. "Will it help you not look like something somebody spit out?"

"It could."

"Are you going to tell me what's going on with you?"

Jane dropped her gaze. "Not yet."

"I guess that will have to be good enough."  He ran a hand over his head and looked down at himself. "Good thing I didn't wear a suit."  He glanced at his partner.  "I can't believe I'm doing this."  Frost leaned forward. "No one. Hears. About. This."

Jane held up her hands in supplication. "Not even Korsak. I promise."

"I've never done this before." Frost added.

"How hard can it be to pretend to be something you're not?"  Jane asked, understanding the irony completely.

"Hmm."

Jane stood outside of the bar and took a deep breath. She had done her research on the place the few minutes she had and decided it was the perfect place to cut her teeth. It wasn't huge. It didn't have strobe lights and a million gyrating bodies.

Other women walked around her, entering with no fear.

Frost tapped her on the shoulder. "Should I be butch or more feminine?"

Jane bit the inside of her cheek. "Feminine. I think it would be more believable that way."

Frost muttered. "Oh, you so owe me for this Rizzoli."

"I know."

"I don't know how I'm going to make you pay but you will."

"I know."  Jane adjusted the jacket across her shoulders with a shrug. "Let's do this."

She pushed the door opened and entered another world.

Or not.

It was just like every cop bar she had been to but with a lot more women. It was smoky, noisy, and pool tables lined the back.  Aretha Franklin piped in from a nearby Jukebox but not loud enough to be overwhelming.

The bar was sparsely populated and Jane decided it was the proper place to start.

Frost sat on the barstool next to her, scanning the crowd. Then, he motioned for the bartender.  Jane watched in utter fascination as the scene unfolded before her.

Frost squealed at the bartender. She was tall, blonde, and had biceps to kill for. "My God, girl if I were butch I would love to look like you!" He slapped the bar and leaned forward.

The blonde bartender chuckled. "Quite an entrance. This one is on the house for you and dark and smoky. What'll you have?"

"Coke," Jane said. Her face flushed with the compliment.

"With a voice like that, I bet you want Jack in it."

"Nah, I'm being a good girl tonight."  Jane was shocked at the shamelessly flirtatious words that came from her mouth, knowing they were going to get a response as the people around her more than likely watched. The world did not stop; tear in half; or explode in flames. Everything was exactly the same, and Jane was still standing.

For the moment, it felt damned good.

"I like good girls," the blonde added with a wink.

"Uh, don't let her fool you, girl." Frost pursed his lips and rolled his neck. "I'll have a Bud Light with a lime and not that nasty premade stuff. Fresh limes please."

When her Coke arrived, Jane titled her cup toward the bartender before taking a sip. She turned away from the bar to scan the crowd.

Frost nudged and leaned toward her. "How am I doing?"

"Surprisingly well." Jane answered from the side of her mouth.  "Anything you want to tell me?"

"Fuck. You."

"Uh huh, maybe we should mingle or something?" Jane asked.

"You're asking me?"

"Well yeah. You seem mighty comfortable," she added.

"So do you."

Jane felt a hand brush her shoulder. She turned and swallowed as a very curvaceous brunette stood before her.

"What do you say we ditch your tag along?"

Jane looked at Frost and raised her eyebrows.

Apparently, it was signal enough. He sashayed in front of her and put his hand in the brunette's face. "I've got feelings too, Miss and she's not here for a quickie."

The brunette caressed Jane with her eyes. "Oh, it won't be quick."

Jane's eyes widened. "Uh, what he said."  She pointed at Frost.

The woman sneered at them both.

Frost snapped his fingers. "Burned! Now go on find some other fish."

Jane's eyes widened even more.

When the coast was clear, she muttered in his direction. "Where are you getting your lingo? The seventies?"

"Ha ha! It's not like I have a lot to go on. By the way, I told you this place would be like the lion's den for you. Feeling safe yet?"

"Shut up."

Frost took a swig from his beer. "Just so you know, Jane. I'm a detective too. Want to know what I've detected?"

"I'm sure you're going to tell me anyway." Jane's voice dripped with sarcasm, but it was laced with residual fear.

"I don't think you came here to be safe. I think this has to do with you and Dr. Isles."

Jane drained the rest of her Coke and willed her heart to stop thudding.  _Dammit._  "I, uh, don't—"

"I am humiliating myself for you! Isn't that enough to show that you can trust me?"

Jane was silent and her body rigid. The urge to vomit was overwhelming. She peered down at her feet. _Oh God. Oh God._

"I never pegged you for a coward, Jane just—"

"Yes, you're right! Okay!"  Jane exclaimed in a loud whisper. The word coward had become an apparent trigger. Jane released a long breath and pushed a hand through her hair. 

It did not shake.

"Okay?"  Jane asked.

"Okay," Frost responded. "Did you learn what you needed to from here?"

Jane nodded. "Yeah, I think so."

"You want to go?"

"You go. I'm gonna get another Coke. I'll see you in the morning."

Frost smacked her on the back and smiled. "You too partner."

***

Jane let herself into her childhood home.  The air was already heavy with laughter and the smell of home cooked food.

It was Gnocchi night after all.

She took off her jacket, flinging it over the couch.  Jane had come to many revelations the night before about what she wanted as well as how to deal with her fears, but nothing changed the fact that Maura had moved on.

_Maura._

Jane closed her eyes, hoping to get through the night without the pain of regret.

"Hey, I thought I heard you! Hurry up, sis. The food's getting' cold."

"I'm coming. I'm coming." Jane told her brother, Frankie.

Last night had almost been easy, but she knew that she was not prepared to face her family. Her palms began to sweat just with contemplation. _They're old school. Nothing will prepare them for this. Nothing will prepare me for it._

"Janie! Come on!"  Her father bellowed.

"All right!"

A few seconds later, she was seated by her brother.

"Turn that phone on vibrate." Angela Rozzoli pointed at her daughter.

"Aww, Ma. What difference does it make? If I get a call…I get a call. I still would have to leave."

"Listen to your mother. It's the principle of the thing."

"Yeah, I'll turn mine down too." Frankie chimed in.

Jane cut her eyes at her brother. "Who's gonna call you? The Pope? You're a beat cop."

"Just rub it in why don't you." Frankie waved his hand in her direction while using the other to fill his mouth with pasta and sauce. "Ou jus wait."  He stated further around a mouth full.

Jane reached over and smacked the back of his head. "Close your mouth for God's sake. That's nasty!"

"Ow. You didn't have to do it so hard!"

"Janie leave your brother alone. You're supposed to set the example." Her mother added.

"We're not teenagers, Ma. I think he's learned all he could from me."

A deep chuckle lured all eyes toward her father.  "You guys never change. You're gonna be fifty and smacking him in the head."

"Yeah, hopefully her husband will have better control of her." Frankie stated and laughed at his own joke.

Jane rolled her eyes and reached for the rolls.

"What? You're not watching your carbs?" Frankie guffawed.

"Pass me the goddamned rolls, Frankie!"

"Maybe he'll send her to charm school too."

Irritated now, Jane opened her mouth to further voice her displeasure. "I think I'm in love with Maura." Her lips snapped shut and she covered them with her hand. It was the second time in as many days that she felt the need to vomit.  _Holy shit! Did I just say that?_   Jane picked up her fork and played with the food on her plate. She refused to look up.

The rolls slid her way.

There was total silence.

"She's hot."  Frankie was the first to break it.

"Eh, if you like that type," Her father said.

"Janie does." Frankie wheezed.

"Bet she would keep Janie in line better than any man would."  Her father added as laughter ensued.

Jane peeked from under long lashes. "Ow!" She screamed as her brother swatted her on the shoulder.

"Frankie!"

"Ma, she can take it."

"I'll sic Maura on you!" Angela Rizzoli threw her hat in the ring and added to the Twilight Zone like hilarity.

 _They're still calling me Janie._   Jane glanced up at her family and swallowed the tears that pricked the back of her throat. Jane peered at her mother and nearly choked when she winked back at her.

Jane let out a bark of laughter.  She tore off a piece of the roll and dipped it into the thick red sauce.  She sobered quickly.

A hurdle had been jumped, but Jane was nowhere near the finish line.

_Maura._

 


	3. Chapter 3

Jane chewed on the eraser of her pencil as she peered at the computer screen. She knew the advent of electronic mail was a worldwide phenomenon, but today it was as useless as balls on a doll. She rolled her eyes and hit the delete key with exaggerated emphasis, all the while deciding that her brother was a complete moron for sending her fake nude pictures of Angelina Jolie.

It did serve its purpose however. For a brief moment, her mind strayed from her own dilemma. Still, Jane was having a hard time even putting it in that category.

She knew what she wanted.

She knew who she wanted.

But, she had no idea how to get it.

Frustration was a colossal understatement for how she felt at the moment.

Coffee materialized on her desk. She glanced at in gratefully then looked up to see her partner. Frost's grin was wide and his eyes twinkling.

Jane sighed. "Yes?"

"I guess it worked. You don't look like ass anymore."

"Why thank you."

"You're very welcome." He paused.  "So?" Frost asked, punching her lightly in the shoulder.

Jane raised an eyebrow. "Soo?"

"Sooo, what's your plan?"

"For what?" Jane asked genuinely confused.

"Too much caffeine or something? What are you going to do about Dr. Isles?" He said the last part in a whisper while leaning toward her.

"So what are we?  Best girlfriends or something?"

"Nooo!" Frost squealed much like he did a couple of nights before.

They both looked around, panning the room for onlookers.

"All I'm saying is you can't just sit around. You have to go do something. So what are your plans?"

Jane threw her pencil down and leaned back in her chair. Her lips quipped with mirth. "I thought I'd just show her my tits. Did you have something else in mind?"

They both peered down at her chest.

"They're nice Jane, but I don't know. How about you just go talk to her?"

"Well what the hell do I say?" Jane asked in exasperation. "I've never done this before."

"I don't know. If I did, I probably wouldn't be single."

"Huh, good point. So why did you come over here again?"

"I— Shit. Korsak's looking over here act normal."   Frost sat on her desk.




Jane rolled her eyes and sighed. "He's not going to be able to tell you were a queen the other night."

"Really? You think so?"

Jane stared at him for several seconds.

Frost laughed nervously. "Ah, okay, but seriously did you forget what we walked in on?"

Jane reached for her coffee.  She closed her eyes while she took a sip.  There was no way she could forget it. The image was haunting. It floated on her conscious as if it had been permanently burned into a vital section of her brain. "No, I don't think I ever will."  Her voice was thick, hoarse.

"So you're just sitting here while they get closer." Frost's tone was accusing.

"I fucked up, Frost, and hurt her. Really bad. I have no idea how to make up for it."

"You gotta start somewhere. Things can't get any worse."

"Yes, it can. She could tell me to fuck off."

"She wouldn't. Well, not in those words anyway."

Jane almost smiled. "Yeah, I know."

"At least you would know where you stand."

"Why do you care anyway?" Jane asked, truly perplexed.

Frost smiled again, but it was tinged with sadness. "You don't let something like this get away from you."

Jane nodded in understanding. "You've got a story to tell?"

"Maybe and maybe I'll tell it to you someday over a beer."

"Okay, I'll go talk to her and try not to make a bigger ass of myself."

"Nah, I think women like that."

Jane chuckled dryly. "We'll see."

***

Maura always liked the quiet of the morgue. It allowed her thoughts to flow and process, but today her head was not a place she wanted to be. The emotions bombarding her had left cavernous holes in her psyche.

There was no place to hide.

She peered down at her table at the body of a young woman. With cold precision, Maura wielded the scalpel and made a perfect Y incision.

The days without the detective had been some of the most harrowing she had ever experienced. It was like a physical pain that nothing, not even the offered comfort from an old friend, could erase. Since their last meeting, Maura had picked up the phone a thousand times vowing that she would settle for what little Jane had to offer.

Maura's heart would not allow it.

She picked up the rib spreader and placed it in the unknown woman's chest cavity. Within a few moments, the woman's heart was exposed.

Maura did not deal in irony, but she was aware of it. She looked down at the bloodless organ, and felt her own quiver in response.

Exposed.

The word fit perfectly.

One more blow would be the end of her.

She ignored the swishing sound of the doors opening and examined the young woman's insides with an expert's eye. 

A familiar scent assailed her. Gloved hands gripped the sides of the metal table so hard her fingers were quickly becoming numb.  Maura's heart thudded almost painfully against her ribcage, making breathing a near impossibility.  _Calm._ _Take slow deep breaths._

Maura refused the gaze that burned her.

The smell of sandalwood wafted closer, and the heat from Jane's body was piercing. Even with her eyes downward, Maura knew Jane was standing just on the other side of the table.

Not missing a beat, Maura picked up scissors and reached into the woman's chest. With a few quick snips, she held the heart in her hands. Turning away, she placed the organ on the scale.

"Maura."

Maura's body stiffened at the sound of her name. She wanted to believe that the longing she heard was genuine, but her heart was a liar.

"Maura, I—"

"I-I can't. I'm working."

"You can do that in your sleep. I just want a minute to talk."

The medical examiner noted the weight of the organ. She wanted to give Jane an eternity, but knew it would cost her too much. Maura looked up to see dark eyes pleading and hands shoved so deep within slacks pockets they looked nonexistent. 

Jane was nervous. Her face was drawn...her pallor sallow.

Maura had no choice but to give in a little. She was not heartless after all. Her body relaxed minutely. "I think I can spare a few."

She heard a loud release of breath.  No, Jane was petrified.

Their gazes met.  With the first tingle down her spine, Maura was the first to look away.  The fear of getting lost there was almost overwhelming.

"I-I lost my best friend. I want her back. I-I want something back."  Jane's voice was soft, reverent.

Maura swallowed. There were a million things she could say. They all flooded her mind in an instant, leaving her silent.

"Can't we just start again? I mean… I want—" Jane growled and pushed a shaking hand through her hair. "A lot has happened to me since—"

 _This is not happening. She can't be that selfish._ Maura threw the scissors onto the table. They clattered loudly. Anger bubbled and exploded. Maura did not stop to process the rationality of it. "Do you really think this is all about you? It seems to me that in essence was the problem!" She was shocked at the vehemence in her own voice.

Jane's eyes widened and she held out her hands in a placating gesture. "I-I didn't mean for it to sound like that. Listen—"

"No! You listen. I can't go back, Jane. I don't know if I can do anything concerning you. I can't trust it. I can't trust you not to run scared and leave me. I. Just. Can't." Each word trembled from her lips.

"No, Maura. Things have changed! I—" Jane stepped around the table, moving closer. She reached out.

Jane's touch was deadly. Maura moved away quickly, bumping the scale. It swayed precariously. "Don't. I can't take it. I can't take this anymore. Maybe someday when I don't feel…maybe someday we can be friends again."

"Maura! That's—"

Maura peered at Jane, ignoring the pain and disbelief shining in her eyes to show the conviction in her own. "Please leave."

Jane deflated before her, but her eyes seemed to burn brighter than before.  "We're not done, Maura. We are not done."

Maura was alone again. She picked up the discarded scissors and leaned over the corpse.  Her hands trembled as she lowered them back inside the heartless gaping maw.

*

Maura picked at the salad, separating the arugula from the watercress.  She could feel blue eyes boring into the top of her skull.

"We could have a liquid lunch instead?" The tone was amused but laced with concern.

Sighing, Maura glanced up at her lunch companion.  "If I thought I could withstand it, I would."  She smiled briefly. "I'm sorry I'm not good company, Addison."

"That's not the issue, and I completely understand. I only have two days left and I'm trying to figure out the best way to yank you from this funk."

"Time and space, I think are the only things that would be helpful."

Addison Montgomery's smirk was slow and lascivious. "I know what used to help when you were stressed."

Maura had the grace to blush.

"I see you're not denying it. Just think, we were kids back then just playing doctor in med school, and now we're women with a bevy of experience. My God, the damage we could do to each other."  Addison's voice was low, breathy.  "It may be exactly what you need.  You're a very sexual person, Maura. I know you, and I bet you've been waiting for this woman forever. That means that you even contemplating sleeping with anyone felt like cheating to you."

Despite her mind screaming no, Maura's body ignited. Addison knew her well. "I don't know."

"Oh, come on. Remember how hot it was? I'd be lying if I said I didn't think about it from time to time. I was that day…that I kissed you as a matter of fact."  Addison's grin was wicked. "You enjoyed every second of it."

"Yes, I did, but—"

"It will take the edge off. I think you're blinded by everything that's going on Maura. Pretty soon, it will start affecting everything you do."

Amused despite herself, Maura asked, "And fucking you will do that for me?"  It was a word she detested in intelligent conversation, but at the moment, it was apropos. After all it was exactly what Addison wanted.

"Oh yeah and so much more." Blue eyes sparkled.

Maura shivered at the prospect. The safe thing to do was to laugh and wave the conversation away, but safety was not an issue any longer. Addison had been propositioning her in varying degrees since she arrived in town. There was only so much a woman could take.

She wondered if it would fill the emptiness even for a moment. For that moment, it would be worth it. "Come for drinks tonight. You'll have your answer then."

*

Maura stared at her reflection in the full length mirror. It was a strange sense of déjà vu, but this time she knew she had the power to effect the outcome.  She smoothed a hand down the simple red dress. It clung in places where it counted and plunged in others leaving a tantalizing view of skin.

She had never been one to make snap decisions, but she was not herself tonight. The dress was synonymous with that.  If need be, it was easily removed if she were indeed inclined to do so. Addison's proposal had teased her the entire day. It was a chance to take a step forward away from the chaos that surrounded her and find some stillness in the pleasure offered.

Jane was a lost cause.

It was a hard fact that needed facing.

It would pale in comparison to what her body craved, but it could indeed bank the fire that had steadily grown out of control. Maura had not gathered all the data needed to come to a conclusion but she intended to do so within the hour.

Her heart had defected long ago so Maura decided to trust her body in this instance.

Jane was a lost cause.

The door bell rang.

Maura passed by Bass on her way to the door. She rubbed his shell lovingly.

The door bell rang again.

Maura opened it to a stunning vision in green sporting a megawatt smile as an accessory.

Addison pulled her into a one arm hug. "God, you feel good."

Maura buried her face in the redhead's neck. Her scent like always was intoxicating. It would not cost her a thing to get lost in it. "So do you," Maura whispered.

Jane was a lost cause.

Addison ushered them both back inside and held up her gift. "I brought Champagne."

"We're celebrating?"

"That's up to you, but either way we're drinking it. I'll go put it on ice. Be right back."

Maura watched the sway of hips.

The door bell rang once more.

Maura's brow ruffled in confusion. Without a thought, she ambled toward the sound.

She opened the door.

Jane was… here.

The moment was surreal and colorful bursting with a thousand strokes of the brightest paint. Maura was out of place as of late and in allegiance with the dark.

Maura saw Jane's lips moving and began to drag herself back to reality.

"Is that her car, Maura? The woman you were kissing… is she here?"

Jane's presence was taut and commanding set off by the dark clothing and black leather jacket. Brown eyes were obsidian glistening with heat. Maura backed away from it all, having always been drawn like a moth to a flame.

Her hands suddenly itched to touch and her lips ached to taste.

Maura wanted to scream.

It seemed that even her rebelling body had finally abandoned her.

Strong hands wrapped around her upper arms, shaking her.

"Maura answer me!"

"Y-yes," Maura whispered huskily.

"If she's in your bed, so help me God. I can't be held responsible."  Jane's expression was indignant. Her nostrils flared and her cheeks were flushed in a jealous rage.

Maura shuddered as an unexpected surge of arousal cut a volcanic swath through her body.

"Do you want her? Or is there something still between us?"

Using all her reserves, Maura clamped down on the need to arch into the body so close to her own and rub against her like a needy feline.

"Does she make you feel anywhere close to the way I did?"  Jane's voice was husky, deep.

Something in it called to Maura. Her stomach clenched in a knot so tight. She had no choice but to cry out.

Jane's breath was suddenly ragged. "Does she make you feel this?"

Jane's hands wound in Maura's hair, yanking her head back and exposing her throat. Hot, moist lips left a scorching trail before teeth bit down savagely on her raging pulse point.

The pleasure was so thick it swallowed her whole. 

A second cry was ripped from her throat, louder than the last.

The sound was muffled as Jane's lips claimed her own.

Jane did not ask for entrance.

Jane demanded it.

Her tongue plunged deep, filling Maura, owning her.

Maura clawed at Jane's shoulders in an attempt to pull her closer. Overwhelmed, she could only hold on.

The sound of the front door slamming did not break her haze.

The hard smack of cold, unforgiving wood against her back only heightened already overwrought senses.

Overheated hands found their way under Maura's dress, pushing it up to her waist. Jane's hands palmed her buttocks, squeezing and lifting .

Maura tore her mouth away and moaned unchecked as a jean covered thigh insinuated its way to her center.

Her hips jerked then began to grind furiously.

"Ahem, I can only hide in the kitchen for so long, you know."

It was the second time tonight Maura wanted to scream in frustration, and she was sure it wasn't going to be the last.

Addison always knew how to make an entrance.

Expecting Jane to step away, Maura was surprised when she remained pressed against her. It was a sign of ownership, Maura knew and for the moment she reveled in it. Suddenly, every inch of her body began to ache.

 It was painful coming down from such a high.

Maura closed her eyes briefly before catching Jane's unwavering gaze.

Brown eyes were bottomless, making her feel as if they were the only beings in the universe.  "I know what I want, Maura."  Jane leaned forward brushing her lips against Maura's softly.  "You have to decided if you can forgive me…believe in me because I'm not giving up."

Jane stepped away and turned toward the now silent Addison.

The redhead's expression was rakish, challenging, and Maura wondered what story Jane's face depicted.

Unsure of what else to do, Maura moved away from the door. Her legs quivered with each step.

Jane had come in raging like a lion but she left as quietly as a lamb.

Maura wanted to dissolve in a puddle on the floor, but she stared at the door instead, willing her heart to slow. Then, she turned slowly toward her friend.

Addison raised the Champagne flute toward her before draining it dry. She opened her mouth to speak.

"Not a word, Addison. Not a word."

She received a smirk in return.

 


	4. Chapter 4

Jane stared into nothingness as she sipped her coffee. A smirked eased its way to her lips. Something had changed between her and Maura the night before. Jane was sure of it, but she was under no illusion.

There was still a mountain to climb.

The night had been eventful to say the least, and if Jane had ignored the advice given, she knew it would have ended much differently.

Maura would be in the arms of another woman.

Jane had staked a claim in the basest way possible, and instead of earning her a slap in the face, she had spent a few minutes in heaven.

It was her arms Maura would remember. Her kiss Maura would crave.

The smirk became a full blown smile.  _Who would have thought it?_

_  
_

_Jane entered her parent's home and sprawled in chair at the dining room table. Her limbs were as heavy as her heart._

_Her mother made her way out to investigate a few moments later. She rubbed her hands on the towel thrown over her shoulder. "You taking a break from fighting crime?"_

_Jane ignored the question as her gaze went from the well polished wood to the linoleum floor._

_"Janie?"_

_Clenching her hands into fists, Jane pounded one on the table. "I risked my job and my family and she wouldn't even hear me out, Ma.  I barely got a sentence out, and she took what I said and ran the opposite way!"  Jane's tone was tense, angry.  "I told her I wasn't giving up, and I meant it. But, I-I just don't know if I can take it if she keeps shooting me down."_

_Jane raised her eyes to her mother's. "Where the hell do I go from here? I mean, what am I doing? She's dating someone else!"_

_Angela Rizzoli pulled out a chair and eased into it."Are you sure she's what you want?"_

_Jane nodded. "I'm more sure now than I ever was before."_

_"Do you think it's because she's kinda unavailable to you now?"  A brow rose high on her mother's forehead._

_Opening her mouth to speak, Jane snapped it shut suddenly.  She rolled her eyes and decided to be honest with herself. "Yeahhh."_

_"Mmm."_

_"Now, that's what I call sage advice, Ma."_

_"Keep it up smart ass. Are you gonna listen or not?"_

_Jane sighed dramatically. "Listening."  She crossed her arms over her chest._

_"Why did you join the police force?"_

_"That's easy. It was what I wanted to do. I don't remember a day when I didn't want it, even when I was a kid."_

_"Mmm hmm.  So what made you want to be a detective and be in homicide."_

_"It's where I was supposed to be. It felt right. I knew it would so I fought and worked my ass off to make it there."  Jane's eyebrows scrunched as she tried to figure out the point in the line of questioning._

_"So…is it fair to say that all your life whatever you wanted you didn't stop until you got it?"_

_Jane blinked. "Yeah, you could say that."_

_"Why is Maura different?"_

_"Wha?"_

_Angela Rizzoli threw her hands up. "I didn't raise a pinhead. Think!"_

_Jane ran over the conversation, analyzing every word. Realization dawned. "Oh! But, it's not the same."_

_"Yeah, it is. You gotta show her that you mean business. You gotta show her that you mean to have her and you would do anything…I mean anything to get her." Her mother leaned forward. "Be who you are, baby. You've conquered everything in your path, this is no different. Trust me."_

_"Are you telling me to be a stalker?" Jane's voice went up an octave on the last word._

_Her mother laughed. "Since all this came about I've been doing a lot of thinking and rewinding. Do you wanna know what I found out?"_

_Jane shrugged._

_"I should have seen it all along. I swear that woman could sit and stare at you for hours.  She wants it. She wants you, and all you have to do is put her back in touch with that. She has to trust it again"._

_Jane rubbed a hand over her face. "So you want me to be some Neanderthal? Should I conk her on the head and throw her over my shoulder?"_

_"Hey!"  She threw the towel at her daughter. "You're being a smart ass again. Just think about it and listen to your mother. I know a thing or two."_

_Letting out another long sigh, Jane muttered, "I will. I'll think about it. What have I got to lose?"  Jane peered at her mother.  "You do realize that you're giving me advice on how to win over a woman?"_

_"Mmm hmm. What's your point?"_

_"You don't find this strange? I don't remember you ever telling me how to win a man."_

_There was another chuckle. "Honey, men are simple. Women are the most complicated creatures on the planet. I think that makes me highly qualified. I've been one for over fifty years. I'm in the perfect position to give advice."_

_"Huh, I guess that make sense in a round about way."_

_"You want some lunch? I've got some leftover meatballs."  Her mother asked as she got up and headed back into the kitchen._

_"Is there any of that bread you made the other day left?" Jane added as she followed, nearly bouncing on the balls of her feet._

 

Frost poked her in the shoulder as he breezed by her desk. 

"Hold up. I brought you coffee." Jane called out.

He stopped and turned back around immediately.  "Aww for me? We really are best girlfriends?"

Jane rolled her eyes but the smile remained.

Frost squinted. "I didn't put that smile there."  His eyes widened and his expression turned to one of utter glee. "Did something happen? You disappeared yesterday before I had a chance to talk to you."

She bit her lip to keep them in place. Surely a smile any bigger would be hazardous.  "Well, let's just say you got me outside the door and my mom found me a way in."

His grin lit up his face.  "Okay, hold that thought. Let me get out of my jacket. I'll be right back. I want to hear everything."

Jane peered at the red pinstriped tie and pink shirt. It fit him perfectly. "Nice tie."

Frost adjusted it. "You think so? Not every man can pull off these colors."

"I'll say. Go get situated. I'll see you in a minute."

He gave her a brief wave before heading to his desk.

Jane was genuinely surprised at how close they had become. _I guess bonding at a lesbian bar does wonders._   Still, it was nice having someone to talk to about all this, especially someone on the job. Korsak knew her the best, but somehow Jane knew Frost fit with her as a partner and a friend.

Frost returned. He pulled an unused chair to the other side of her desk.  He popped the top to his coffee.  "You already put cream and sugar in?"  His eyes were wide with wonder.

Jane smiled. "I pay attention. I'm a detective after all."

"Thanks." Frost took a long drink. "So, you didn't show her your tits?"

Jane blushed as she remembered the heated kiss that damn near spiraled out of control. "Uh, close, but she had company."

Frost sputtered. "What?! The redhead?"

"Yah."

"Ohhh, that sounds like a recipe for disaster to me. How did you turn it around?"

Jane leaned back in her chair. "Let's just say I went after what I wanted."

"Hmm, can I be you when I grow up?"

Jane released a bark of laughter.  "I don't think my hair would look right on you."

Frost chuckled.

They both raised their coffee cups in greeting as Korsak walked by.

The older man paused and made his way back to them.  "What are you guys? Best girlfriends now?"

Jane glanced at her partner, and they both erupted in laughter.

"Something like that." Frost answered in between guffaws as Korsak walked away in a huff.

Jane's phone rang.

"Rizzoli."

"Uh, I-I have the preliminary on that stabbing if you and Frost want to come down. In addition, I can definitively show what caused his death."

Jane swallowed the sudden lump in her throat. "Give us a couple of minutes, and we'll be there."  She felt the heat in her face and unexpected nerves.

Frost peered at her expectantly.  "Because you looked like you swallowed a lemon, I'm going to bet that was Maura."

"Yah, she has a report for us."

He brought his cup to his lips and mumbled. "She wants you to come see her on her turf. She could have just brought it to us…to me if she didn't want to see you."

Jane shook her head. "Maura's usually more straightforward than that. She says what she wants."

"Nooo, I'm betting that you've shaken things up a bit."

"You think?"

"Uh huh. You could consider this your chance to further state your case."

"Huh, we'll see. Let's go."

**

Jane's lips quirked. They had been here for a full ten minutes and Maura had yet to even look at or barely speak to her. Jane knew the other woman could feel her gaze. Jane hadn’t been able to lift it from her since she walked in.

Jane caressed each patch of skin visible, recalling its softness and the heat that seemed to radiate from it, especially when they were close.

Thick dark blonde hair was pulled back.  Jane reminisced about the smell and the feel of it sifting through her fingers.

Frost droned on asking needed questions and taking notes.

Jane's eyes fell to full lips, and her breath caught.  Heat rolled through her in billowing waves.

Maura chose that moment to look up. 

Their gazes met.

Sparks arced around them.

Maura's speech stalled and she began to fidget with the pen sticking out of the front pocket of her scrubs.  Still, her gaze remained captured.

"Uhm," Frost said and then cleared his throat. "You two want to be alone?"

Jane took pleasure in the surprise that lit Maura's eyes.

"I-I don't know what you mean." Maura's tone was hesitant and confused.

Jane raised an eyebrow at her partner and nodded slightly.

Frost smiled. "I've got lunch since you got the coffee this morning."

Jane smiled. "Sounds good."

They were now alone and Jane did not miss a beat.

Her eyes returned as if addicted to the sight before her.  Jane took silent stock of the situation.  A flush inched slowly down Maura's face to her neck and her chest heaved.

"He knows?"  Maura asked. Her tone breathy.

"He does."

"There is no us.  So, why did you bother?"

"I think that's a matter of perception."  Jane moved toward her, slowly.  Her gaze, she knew burned with everything she wanted…everything she felt.

"Don't…look at me that way."  Maura's breath expelled raggedly.

Jane inched closer, coming around the other side of the metal table. "What way?"  Her stomach fluttered. She was enjoying the game they were playing.

"Jane, please?"  Her voice cracked. Maura held out a hand to stop Jane's progression. "I-I can't think."

Jane moved forward until the hand touched her upper torso.  "That's a bad thing?"

Maura licked her lips. Her hand clenched into a fist, bunching the material of Jane's dark blue shirt. "It is."

Jane's stomach slithered then clenched hard enough to make her gasp.  "Why?"

"Because…because I can't trust it yet."

Jane nodded in understanding. "I know. Are you going to give me a chance to prove otherwise?"

Maura lips turned up in a brief smile. "I don't think I have a choice."

Jane grinned in return. "No, no you don't." She grasped the hand tangled in her shirt and slid it underneath to blazing skin.

Maura whimpered and Jane recognized the need sparkling in her eyes.

Jane shuddered as fingers caressed her stomach, leaving a searing trail. Her muscles danced. It was sheer torture, and she did not want it to stop.  Still, she removed it from her shirt and brought Maura's hand to her lips, kissing her palm before letting it fall naturally to Maura's side.

"Are you sure…you've never done this?"  Maura asked, shakily.

Jane shook her head. "I haven't but I want to. I want to do everything."

"Everything?" Maura squeaked.

"Uh huh."

The tension between them was intoxicating.

Jane did not want that to be the only thing between them.  She took a step back. "Has your friend left yet?"  She inquired trying to keep her tone light.

Maura blinked at her owlishly for several seconds before a grin formed.  "She will tonight."

"Huh, that's so sad." Jane hoped her expression conveyed how very upset she was…not.

"Hmm, she had some choice words for you."

"And I'm sure she had plans for you." Jane added.

"Hence, the choice words."

"I'm so, so sorry." Jane smirked.

"Nothing ever happened between us besides that kiss. I think you should know that. Addison has a flare for the dramatic."

"Well, I'm sure we would have been great friends." Jane muttered. Each word was overrun with sarcasm, but simultaneously she was flooded with relief.

"Actually—"

"No, Maura… just no."  Jane added, knowing what Maura was about to say.  Jane's heart thudded for a completely different reason. She had missed this… the banter. It was good to have it back even if it was just making a guest appearance.

Maura's grin widened, but she did not comment.

"No matter how much I want to, I can't stay down here all day. I'll talk to you later?"

Maura nodded. Her eyes twinkled.

The doors swished behind Jane as she left.  The mountain still loomed before her, but she decided that she was definitely up for the climb.

***

Maura followed the host as he led them to their table, feeling Addison's blue gaze the entire way.  She glanced over her shoulder, catching the redhead in the act.

Russet eyebrows raised in challenge. "What?"

Maura shook her head in reply.  There was no tingle, no awareness, and she could still breathe. The attraction to Addison had obviously been temporary or there was simply no room in her existence. Jane had taken it up in its entirety.

Having sat down, Maura browsed the menu and muttered. "Since it's your last day, I've got lunch."

Addison took a sip of water. "I'm not complaining."  She sat the glass down. "So how is McButchy?"

Maura peered over her menu, "Pardon?"

Addison rolled her eyes.  "Jane. How's Jane?"

"Why do you assume that I've seen her?"

"Are you kidding?" Addison's tone was droll. "I was there last night when she practically fucked you against the door."

Maura ignored the heat that suffused her face, but she knew Addison would not.

"So, I'll take that as a yes."

"Only once. We do have jobs to attend to." Maura lifted the menu up higher trying to hide the even darker flush as she recalled the events of earlier.

"Ah, it was like that then?"  Addison smirked.

Maura did not miss the sound of defeat in her voice. She lowered the menu once more.

"Addison? Did you really think there was going to be something more between us?"

"Honestly, not really but I was hoping for a little action. It's been a long dry spell."

"I am sorry."

Addison waved her hand nonchalantly. "Did I stand a chance if she hadn't made an appearance?"

"You asked me that last night."

"And you didn't give me a clear answer."

"I still don't know."

"Tease."  Addison flashed a smile, taking the sting out of the words.  "Well, for a virgin, she sure as hell looked like she knew what she was doing."

"Jane is an instinctual individual."

"Hmm, I don't know. I think it has more to do with the chemistry between you two, because let me tell you I saw almost the whole thing.  I don't think I've ever been so turned on by watching two women kissing."

"When you got back to the hotel, did you—"

"Oh yeah, three Goddamned times."

Maura threw back her head and laughed.  "Don't ever change, Addison."

Addison's smile was radiant. "That's something you don't have to worry about."  She paused. "So what are you going to do?"

"About?"

"Mc…Jane?"

Maura sighed.  "I want to believe that things have changed but a few words and some kisses just isn't enough. Although, her partner knows."

"About the two of you?"

"About the probability of the two of us."

"So what does she have to do? Sing it from the rooftops? You don't think you're being a little demanding?"

Maura smiled at the waiter and gave him her order. They had excellent salads here. She waited for Addison's request and nodded at the young man as he turned away.

"She hurt me. Not once but it felt like a thousand times. My feelings haven’t changed, but I need to be sure that she's not going to run away when someone whispers about us or stares." Maura drank from her own water glass. "Most of all, I won't be hidden away like a dirty secret."

"In other words, it's all or nothing with you."

"I guess you could say that yes. I don’t deserve anything less." Maura added defensively. _I thought she was one of the few who understood me._

Addison held out a hand in a placating gesture. "Whoa, I'm not making light of this. You're right. You do deserve the best. I just wanted you to hear things out loud independent of your own head.  That's a lot of change. You don’t think it will be too much for her?"

Maura looked at her friend for several long seconds.  "I hope not."

Addison smirked and her eyes glittered. "You think that you can keep it in your pants while you wait?"

Maura took a long draught from her water before responding. "She does make it difficult." Her insides quivered and melted just thinking about the two of them touching, kissing…

Addison snorted. "I've never known you to understate things. Difficult? I'd say it'll be damn near impossible."

Mouth dropping open at the redhead's audacity, Maura replied, "I do have a modicum of self control remaining."

"Wanna bet?" Addison winked at Maura. "I give it three days whether she fulfills your prerequisites or not."

Indignant, Maura sputtered, "I will not wager on my sex life!"

"Five hundred bucks."

Their gazes caught and held.

"Make it an even six hundred." _I can't believe I'm doing this. What is wrong with me?_

"Done."  Addison paused as their plates were set in front of them. A few seconds later, they were alone again. "Let's fuck on it."

"Addison!"

"Whaat?! You can't blame a girl for trying."

***

Maura turned over in her bed what felt like the hundredth time. She smacked her pillow, then re-fluffed it in an attempt to get more comfortable. Sheets of hand woven Egyptian cotton whispered over her skin. She kicked them away in irritation.

It had been several hours since she retired for the night, and still, she was unable to tune out her brain or her body.

Turning her head slightly, Maura peered at the clock.

It was 2:05 a.m.

All was not well.

Sighing, she reached for the sheets and pulled them up to her chin.

The phone began to ring.

Maura groaned. While she was wide awake, she was still exhausted. There wasn't a bone in her body ready to go to work.

She picked up the cordless receiver and peered at the well lit display. The groan became a moan of sheer frustration. It was the last person she needed to be speaking to.  Maura hit he talk button anyway.

"Jane?"

"Somehow…I knew you'd be awake."  Jane's tone was warm, smoky.

It settled over Maura, making her shiver.

"How'd you know?"

"Because I know you. There're a million things running around in that brain of yours."

"True. What's your excuse?"

"Hmm, restless I suppose…tense too."

Maura swallowed and pressed her ear to the phone listening to the rustling of covers and envying their slide over Jane's body.

"Can I ask you a question, Maura?"

"I suppose."

"I know for a fact that Google is a wonderful thing. So, I've been doing some research, and I wanted to know if sex between women is as intense as they say it is."

Maura's heart stuttered and awareness that seemed to be habitually bubbling under the surface sprang to life. Suddenly, she was incredibly hot. Maura kicked away the sheets once more. "It depends." She could hear the breathless quality to her own voice.

"On?" Jane's voice was deep and huskier than usual.

"The women involved… the chemistry between them." _There is no way she is a novice at this._

"How do you think it would be between us?"

Breathing became impossible.  Squeezing her thighs together, Maura gasped, "Jane, I…" Maura closed her eyes and willed the now constant throbbing between her legs to subside.

"Answer me, Maura." Jane's voice was soft but commanding.

Maura shuddered as her nipples hardened. "It would be…intense." 

This was the Jane she had fallen hard for…full of confident swagger and heat.

This was the Jane she had not seen for months. Fear had replaced what she had come to crave.

While she had almost always been the initiator in their transgressions, Maura was not opposed to taking a back seat.

"One for the record books I imagine," Jane muttered.

Maura shifted, causing the sleep shirt she wore to scrape over her chest.  She bit her lip to keep from moaning. Cold sweat prickled her forehead. "It's…p-possible."

"One more question, Maura."

Jane didn't wait for her consent.

"Am I one of those things?"

Maura's brow furrowed. Her mind was fuzzy and she was certain that she missed a segue into this conversation.  "What do you mean?"

"Those million things… am I one of them?"

Maura swallowed. "More than li---"

"Because I have to tell you, every time I touched myself tonight, you've been the only thing on my mind."

Breath exploded from Maura's chest. Arousal completely drowned her in its honeyed sweetness. "God!"

"It didn't even take the edge off. I still want you, and I can't fucking believe how much." Jane growled. "I know you're not ready for this…for me, but you needed to know."  Her breath was ragged.  "Good night, Maura."

Maura launched the phone across her bed not caring as it crashed to the floor. She nearly ripped the shirt from her body. Her hands slid down her stomach and fingers plunged into her dripping core.

Her cries permeated the room.

***

Jane shuffled the bags and the cup holder into the same hand to answer her cell phone.

"Yeah?"

"What no coffee this morning? I just walked in and noticed you weren't at your desk." Frost said.

"Well, did you bother to look on your own desk?" Jane asked in return.

"Hmm, well no."

"Doubting me already, Frost?"

"Perish the thought. I brought breakfast too.  The bakery around the corner has killer apple fritters."

"I know. They have killer croissants too." Jane's mouth watered.

"Aww, you already ate?"

"Not yet. Hopefully as soon as I get off the phone with you."

"Where are you?" Frost asked.

"Heading toward the morgue."

"Ugh, Jane don't eat on that table! I don't care how much they sterilize it."

Jane laughed. "I'd eat off the floor if Maura wanted me to."

"Are we still talking about food?" Frost asked. Jane could hear the laughter hidden in his tone.

"Yes, you ass. I was a bad girl last night, and I'm thinking I need to make up for it." Jane couldn't hide the smile in her voice.

"A bad ..bad girl or a BAD…bad girl?"

"The second one." Jane answered.

Frost chuckled. "Mind giving me details? Might perk me up better than the coffee."

"That would be a no. Listen, while I love shooting the breeze with you, Maura is a hell of a lot more good looking."

"Yeah, yeah. See you in a little bit."

"Give my apple fritter to Korsak. We've been neglecting him lately."  Jane added.

"Will do."

Jane let her cell phone drop into her free hand before closing it and putting it back in her pocket. She pushed the doors to the morgue open. 

It was empty save the sterility, folded white sheets and gleaming stainless steel. 

Jane's eyes strayed towards Maura's office to see the women in question smiling and nodding on the phone.  Jane found her target and aimed for it.

After setting the bags and coffee on the edge of the ME's desk, Jane threw herself in a seat.

"Addison, I have to go Jane's here."

Jane listened with one ear and tried her best not to growl or hiss. 

"Addison!  I'll talk to you next week. " Maura paused. "Okay in a couple of days."

The office went quiet as their eyes met.

Jane noted the soft blush forming on Maura's cheeks.  "Sleep well, doc?" She lifted an eyebrow and could not fight the smirk easing past her lips.

Maura's eyes narrowed. "Jane… are you trying to drive me insane?"  Her tone was equal parts indignant and amused.

"No crazier than I am at the moment. I brought croissants."

"And that just makes up for everything?"  Maura reached for the bag. Her eyes closed as the smell wafted toward her. "Did you get strawbe—"

"In the bag."

"Well , since you remembered that I guess you're forgiven."  Maura grinned.

Maura buttered the croissant with a plastic knife before slathering it with strawberry preserves. Jane watched elegant hands at work and she swallowed wondering where those hands were last night. "Hmm, maybe you should hold off. There's no telling what I have planned next."

Maura glanced up and paused in her preparation of breakfast. "Jane…I. We can't keep doing this. In fact, why are you doing this?"

"I want you to be clear about what I want…you."

"That has been painfully obvious…painfully."  A ghost of grin passed Maura's lips.  "I've never hidden how I feel, and I won't now. I need more. Every time I reached out to you…you ran, and I'm supposed to believe you won't now?"  She passed the pastry to Jane.

"I'm the one chasing now, Maura. Remember?"

"That doesn't prove anything." Maura whispered. Her eyes were tinged with sadness.

"I'm aware of that…painfully aware." Jane's lips turned upward briefly before falling again at the seriousness of the moment.  Jane removed the lid off one of the coffees dumping in two creams and one sugar before pushing it toward Maura.

Maura's eyes shined back at her as she took a sip of her perfectly prepared drink.

"I'm not done yet, Maura. Not by a long shot."

"I'm aware of that also."

"Painfully?"

Maura nodded.

"Good. Just so we're clear." Jane bit into the pastry and chewed slowly. "So, this Addison woman. You've never mentioned her before, and let me add. I'm really glad she's gone." She smiled sweetly.

For a brief moment, Jane thought that Maura was going to roll her eyes, but it was not to be. A long sigh escaped instead.

"She's a friend from med school. We usually only talk a couple of times a year, but she was here on a consult."

"By friend, you mean ex-lover."

"I would think that was obvious."

"Pain—"

"Jane!"

"All right I'm done. Moving on."  Jane bit the inside of her cheek to keep from smiling. "What are you doing for lunch?"

"Hopefully, eating." Maura answered.

"With me?"

"That depends." Maura countered.

"On?" Jane asked.

"If you're going to be good or not."

"I don't know if I'm going to be good yet." Jane let the sentence hang in the air as she smirked slowly.  She watched as awareness sprang to life in Maura's eyes and loved every second of it.

"You are incorrigible."

"I know. I'll do my best to keep my hands to myself. Promise."  Jane stood and wiped crumbs off her shirt. "Especially… if I get my fill now."

"Jaaane."  Her name was a breathless rush from Maura's lips.

"Just one kiss."  Jane held up a finger as she ambled toward the other side of the desk.

"I don't think that's possible for you…for us."

Jane grasped the arm of Maura's chair and leaned forward. "Are you comparing me to potato chips?" She asked with an eyebrow arched.

The confounded expression on Maura's face was irresistible.  "Wha—" 

The word ended in a whimper.

Jane brushed her lips over Maura's softly, teasingly. It took every ounce of willpower not to deepen the embrace. Reluctantly, she began to move away.

The hands she had admired earlier knotted in her shirt and yanked her back down. They were a millimeter apart, breathing each other.  "What about my fill?" Maura husked.

A throat cleared.

Maura's eyes widened and she dropped her hands hurriedly, expecting Jane's retreat.

 _Not this time and never again._ Not bothering to turn, Jane held up a hand stopping the visitor's speech and further advancement into the office. "Maura?"

Eyes that held confusion and pain met Jane's.

Sliding her hand around Maura's neck, Jane did not stop until she reached the tiny hairs at her nape. Tilting Maura's head back, Jane leaned in and placed a kiss that was softer and more reverent than the last on Maura's lips.

Eyes that held pain before now held wonder.

"I'll see you at lunch," Jane murmured then smiled.

On her way out of the office, Jane nodded at Maura's assistant, ignoring his apparent scowl of distaste.  A few seconds later, the doors swooshed behind her. 

Her smile remained.

***

Maura spent the remainder of her morning floating significantly above cloud nine. Still, her happiness was tentative bolstered with the essence of hope. There had been no fear from Jane, no hesitancy.  Suddenly, Noon seemed like a continent away. Time moved at a snail's pace and did not improve even when her work phone began ringing.

Today, death was an inconvenience for Dr. Maura Isles.

If she had been a woman accustomed to foul language, Maura would have been using it in spades. Instead she settled for a sigh of frustration as she gathered needed materials for a grim destination.

When Maura reached the crime scene, it was wrapped in the unearthly glow of blue and red despite the rays of the sun. Yellow police tape dotted the area like confetti quartering off the entrance to the basement apartment.  Large amounts of people stood by as onlookers while a select few got their fifteen minutes with the help of hungry news reporters. Maura flashed her credentials to the green looking officer and bent over just enough to ease underneath without disturbing the barrier.

Maura breezed past officers in uniforms as well as familiar faces. She entered the small living room. It was dark despite the daylight and unpleasantly dank. She pulled on gloves and smiled at Korsak who pointed her toward the back.

Frost was the first to spot her. He smiled and gave her a wink even though his skin was a few shades paler than usual.  Jane stood tall seeming to loom over everyone like some legendary figure. As if feeling eyes on her, Jane turned.

Her smile cut through the darkness surrounding them. Maura could not help but reflect the expression back to her.  Maura bit her lip. The flutter in her chest left her lightheaded.  "Uhm, what do we have here?"

"A dead body." Jane deadpanned.

"Jane." Maura's tone was one of exasperated affection.

"Okay, a dead body with a knife sticking out of his chest.  A very big knife."

"That much is obvious." Maura muttered.

Jane smirked. "Painfully?"

Maura sighed for the millionth time that day and tried vehemently to hide her smile.

Frost watched them looking back and forth as if caught in the world's best tennis match. The grin on his face could only be described as pleasantly goofy.

"Is something wrong?" Maura asked him.

He clapped them both on the shoulder. "I'm just happy that you guys are happy."

"Oh geez." Jane rolled her eyes.

"Well, okay then…to work." Maura added airily. _What a strange little man._

**

Hours later, Maura peered down at the grisly sight marring her table, and began swabbing underneath his fingernails. "I'm sure a few more hours wouldn't have made a difference to you, Mr. Taylor."

Maura dispensed of the probably evidence and continued her external evaluation. "I was really looking forward to lunch."

Her assistant entered carrying a vase filled with several of the most delicate orchids she had ever seen. "I'll put this in your office. I'm sure it's from your …friend." He spit the words out as if they were spoiled, rancid.

"Potential lover, actually."  Maura  stated proudly as she watched him walk briskly toward her office then out again. "You should try an alternative lifestyle Paul. It may help dislodge the obstruction in your anus."

His mouth dropped open and his eyes widened. "Dr. Isles, I—"

Her gaze fell back to the corpse. "You may go." 

She was alone with death again, and with people like that around, it was the way she preferred it.

Maura removed her gloves and rolled shoulders that felt decidedly lighter. Curiosity got the better of her and she headed straight for her office. Maura stopped in the doorway and soaked in the beauty before her. The flesh of the flowers were the deepest purple she had ever seen and it filled the room with a soft, lilting perfume. Eager to read the card, Maura entered the rest of the way.

_Doc,_

_I almost sent a funeral wreath but decided to ditch funny and go with sweet instead._

_It sucks about lunch, but will make it up to you tonight. Promise._

_Jane_

_  
_

Maura sprawled into the chair Jane had been in hours earlier. She brought a hand to her racing heart. Cliché displays of affection had habitually meant very little to her. In the past few seconds, Maura had discovered that the person behind the cliché meant the most… meant everything.

**

Maura started at the ringing of the doorbell. She threw The New York Times on the table and moved toward the sound.  It was nearly ten, and Maura had given up hope that the detective was going to make an appearance.  She had been disappointed but still understood. Homicide had a new case after all.  Maura retied the robe around her and smoothed her hair back.

Maura opened the door and was pleasantly surprised to see Jane smirking back at her.  "Surprise." Dark eyes glittered.  "You didn't think I was coming."

"You had a new case and a lot of leg work."

"I promised, Maura. I would have come over if it had been 3a.m."

Maura backed away from the door, allowing entrance. "And I would have let you." The smell of sandalwood surrounded her. She shivered.  She let out a surprised yelp as arms enveloped her in a warm hug. Maura closed her eyes, devouring the heat and bathing in Jane's scent. Strong hands caressed her back.  Every muscle in Maura's body melted.

"Mmm, you feel so good. Did you like the flowers?"

Maura nodded as she squeezed tighter. She tried to swallow the overwhelming ball of emotion.  "I've missed this…being around you, talking and laughing."

A kiss brushed Maura's forehead. "Me too. I'm sorry I made you take it away."

"Don't do it again?" Maura asked.

"I won't."  Jane answered.

"Promise?"

"Yes. Believe me?"  Jane added.

"Almost."  Maura said quietly.

"That's good enough for right now."  Jane pulled back far enough to peer in Maura's eyes. Their forehead's touched right before their lips did. The kiss was soft but scorching. Maura's stomach twisted into a thousand knots. She whimpered when their tongues touched wetly. Maura wound her hands through dark hair, knowing the intensity was about to rise to an astronomical level.

Jane wrenched away from her, panting. "Go get dressed."  Her voice was hoarse and deeper than usual.

Flustered, Maura looked up at Jane in puzzlement. "Excuse me?"  She stepped away from the embrace, missing it instantly.

"Were you getting ready for bed?"

"No, but—"

"Get dressed. Something casual… as casual as you can manage that is," Jane said with a trademark smirk.

"Why can't we stay—"

"We can't, Maura. I won't be able to keep my hands off you." Jane's eyes glinted dangerously, promising things that set her blood on fire.

Maura exhaled shakily.  "I-I could always say no."

Jane took a step toward her. Maura's breathing became ragged, and her eyes fell to kiss swollen lips.

"You wouldn't."  Jane whispered.  It wasn't a question but a statement of fact.

Maura swallowed and moved away from the wall of heat and need before her. "I'll go get dressed."

**

Maura peered discreetly at her companion as they sauntered up to what looked to be a bar.  "Is there some particular reason this place is called Blue?"

"No idea. I've only been here once."

Two laughing women walked around them briskly, heading for the door.

"Do they have amazing beer or something?"

Jane shrugged. "All I had was Coke."

"Hmm, would you mind throwing me a bone, Jane?"  Maura asked after coming to a complete stop.

Jane chuckled, "Sorry." She reached out and linked their hands. "Just hold on you'll see."

A pleasant tingle inched its way up Maura's arm as they entered the bar hand in hand. 

Maura's eyes widened. She had expected to see the familiar flow of officers and detectives, but there was only a sea of women. Shock stopped her cold once again. "Jane?"

"Yes?"

"How did you find this place, and what were you doing here?"

"Research?"  Jane murmured. "With Frost."

"What?!  Frost?"

Jane nodded sheepishly.

"I think we need to stop at the bar. I need a drink."  Maura examined her environment. It did indeed have the appearance of the basic watering hole with pool tables, televisions, and music.

Reaching the bar, they sat next to each other. Maura's order was about to slip past her lips.

"Well, if it isn't the good girl."  The bartender said directly to Jane.

Maura watched in fascination as Jane blushed from the attention. 

"Uh yeah.  I'll have a beer and she'll have a vodka cranberry."

The drinks materialized. Maura brought the glass to her lips all the while watching intently.

"Where's your flamboyant friend?" The bartender asked.

Maura choked.

Jane laughed outright and pointed in her direction. "I traded up."

Maura wanted to squirm as two sets of eyes roamed over her.  She smoothed a hand over the silky grey blouse and charcoal colored slacks.

"Gotta be hard being a good girl with that one."

"You have no idea." Jane muttered.

Maura choked again.  She was knee deep in the unknown. More data was definitely needed to shed light on the situation.

The blond bartender cackled.  "First round is on me ladies. Take your pick of tables. It's slow tonight."

Maura slid primly into a booth, and she was not surprised when Jane eased in beside her.

"Jane, I have a few questions."

"I would be surprised if you didn't."  Jane dug into the provided bowl of pretzels.

Maura ignored the possible germ implication for more important matters.  As the question formed in her mind, apprehension clawed at her throat.  "Was this research you did hands on in nature?"

Jane chewed slowly on another pretzel as a smile took over her face.  "Are you asking me if I picked anyone up?"

Maura looked down in her drink, embarrassed by the pang of jealousy.  "I have no right, but yes."

A warm hand encased her own, making her glance upward again. Dark eyes dripped with sincerity. "You have every right, and no I didn't.  It was a type of abstract research to see if I felt comfortable feeling comfortable in front of Frost."

Titling her head to the side, Maura processed and dissected the sentence.  "It was a success I take it, and I guess that explains the new closeness between you and him."

"Yes it was, and he's a good guy. I don't know many who would pretend to be a flaming queen."

Maura opened her mouth to ask.

"No, no." Jane waved her hand. "You have to see it. There is no way I can describe it. We'll have to bring him here one day, and see if he would do a repeat performance."

Mirth assaulted Maura. She grinned and shook her head.  "Maybe you two should be supervised when out together."

"Could be."  Jane added with a smile.

Emotion swelled between them as their gazes caught and held.

"I've never met anyone that consistently kept me off balance like you do."  Maura said.

"Is that a bad thing?"

"I thought so at first, but I think I like being so out of control. It's refreshing."

"Good."  Jane reached out tracing Maura's jaw with her fingertips. "I like it this way."

Maura's sense of humor was assailed by naughty thoughts. "How do you know which way you like it?"

"Oh, I'll take it anyway you want to give it to me." Jane deadpanned.

"Slow and deep?"  Maura asked as she turned, kissing Jane's palm.

"I don't think that's possible for us right now.  Hard and fast … has its advantages."  Jane's eyes darkened to predatorial intensity.

"Y-yes it does. Did Google tell you that?"  Maura's blood caught fire.

"It didn't tell me anything, but there's some interesting pictures and videos I came across in my research."

"Was there something…that caught your eye?"  Maura's hand circled Jane's wrist. Her tongue snaked out flicking a fingertip and tasting left over salt.

Jane gasped. "Everything."

"Everything?  W-we can't do…everything."

"We could…take a week off and keep water and snacks by the bed."

Maura smiled around the heady mix of humor and arousal. "The world would go mad without us."

"Believe me. I wouldn't give a flying fuck." Jane's gaze lowered to Maura's lips. She closed the distance between them.

Sandalwood and heat overwhelmed Maura's senses, but the demanding brush of lips sent her soaring.  Everything around them dissolved into nothingness. Maura whimpered as Jane's tongue slid teasingly over her own. She buried her hands in dark locks, pulling Jane closer.

Inside her skin wouldn't even suffice.

Needing to regain the breath that had been stolen, Maura ended the embrace with a moan. Their lips still clung hotly as sanity slowly returned.  They parted reluctantly and panting slightly.

Jane smiled. "Enjoying yourself?"

Still speechless, Maura only nodded.  The puzzle of her life had been completely scattered as of late, but now each piece was slowly adhering itself perfectly.

 


	5. Chapter 5

Leaning against the door, Jane watched with a widening smile as the two figures laughed and gesticulated wildly. One was her favorite person in the world, and the other undoubtedly helped her to get to the place she needed to be.

Jane pushed away from the wall and walked slowly toward the sight. Maura sat on the edge of her desk, and Jane wanted nothing more than to part creamy thighs; situate herself between them; and give her a good morning kiss that would singe her eyebrows and leave the good doctor flustered for the rest of the day.

Head thrown back in laughter, hazel eyes chose that moment to meet her gaze. An immediate flush covered Maura's cheeks. _She knew exactly what I was thinking._ Eyes that knew and had seen so much smoldered into her own.  A tingle inched its way down Jane's spine and settled in her groin. Jane smirked. It was a feeling she had come to expect around Maura. It was a feeling she had come to love.

The smirk turned into a chuckle as Frost waved a hand in front of Maura's face. He spotted Jane moving toward them and rolled his eyes before grinning.

"Hey." Jane said the words but her eyes remained on Maura.

"I guess I'm really not as pretty as her."  Frost commented.

Jane snorted and glanced at her partner. "Was there any doubt?"

"Hmm, I don't know…a wig and maybe a little make up.  I could probably give both you guys a run for your money."

Jane felt a brow rise high on her forehead.

"Just imagine how many free drinks we'd get then. That bartender loved me."

"You know…you could be right. She asked about you."  Jane paused. "So, you're okay with me telling Maura?"

"Uh huh, you spill about my exploits and I spill about yours."

Jane's other eyebrow rose to meet its partner. "What…exploits?"

"You know, the women I protected you from?"

"I don't blame them really," Maura chimed in.

"I tried to tell her and sure enough they were all over her." Frost made a circling motion with his finger.

Jane's mouth dropped opened and her eyes narrowed.  "No more coffee for you!"

Frost laughed.  "You love me."

Jane pointed at his desk.  "Not right now I don't. Look…your desk is calling you name. You don' t hear it? It's sayin' asshole."

Frost laughed even harder. "Give Dr. Isles a kiss for me. She brought us breakfast."

"Please, call me Maura. I feel like we're old friends."

"Look at that Rizzolli. I have another best girlfriend."  Frost stuck out his tongue as he walked away.

Jane growled.  "Why do I like that guy?"

"I think he's sweet."  Maura answered for her.

Jane's attention refocused. "I wouldn't lie to you…you know. I didn't pick anybody up."

"I know."

Their gazes clashed again.

Jane was drawn closer.  "Thanks for breakfast," she murmured softly.

"You're very welcome."  The flush in Maura's cheeks heightened.

"You should probably move into a seat."  Jane was sure her eyes hid nothing and told everything. The need to touch and be near Maura was overwhelming to the point of compulsion.

Maura canted her head to the side and licked her lips. "Why?"

"Because I don't want to be arrested for indecency by the people I work with."

Maura's eyes twinkled. "That would be horrible."

"Wouldn't it though?"

"I could sit in your chair."

"Only if it's in my lap."  Jane muttered, fighting the urge to move even closer.

Maura grinned. "Is that a fantasy of yours?"

Jane's eyes followed the trail of pink as it moved to Maura's neck where her pulse jumped erratically. She smiled. "No, but I do have one for my desk." Jane took a step closer.

Maura's throat bobbed on a swallow. "I won't be responsible for my actions if you come any closer."

"Really?"  Jane's asked thickly.

"Oh yes…really."

"Am I corrupting you?"

"Jane…you did that ages ago."

Jane closed her eyes and pooled every ounce of willpower from deep in her gut.  She opened them again to see Maura's smoldering look had returned tenfold.

 A hard clap on her back, nearly bowled Jane over.  She righted herself just in time.

"Oh, it's nice to see that you guys are talking again." Korsak peered at them both with a smile.

Jane's body landed on earth with a hard thud. She watched as his eyes swung from her to Maura. There was no way to ignore the tension in the air between them. It stood strong and thick. 

Bushy eyebrows drew downward.  "Uh…okay."

Silenced lapsed between them.

"Uh, was I interrupting something?"  Korsak's expression was sheepish.

"Yes," Jane muttered through gritted teeth.

"No, I was just—"  Maura added simultaneously.

Korsak's confused eyes again swung from Jane to Maura. "Okay, well as long as you girls have kissed and made up."

Jane could not help the smirk that formed on her lips. "We'll talk later, Korsak."

"Uh huh, well I'm just going to—" He pointed at his desk.

Jane felt Maura's eyes on her.  "We could have breakfast in my office? It's more private."

Jane shrugged. "Doesn't matter either way but let's go."  She grabbed the bag and placed a hand in the small of Maura's back as the exited the squad room.

Their shoulders brushed as they walked near the elevators.  Awareness crackled over Jane's skin at the thought of them being alone even for a few minutes.

"Jane, I—"

"Shhh."

The elevator dinged. The doors opened and it was blissfully empty.

Jane ushered Maura inside.

The bag fell from Jane's hands as she launched them both toward the far wall.

A cry exited Maura's lips as her back connected with unforgiving metal.

Their lips were a hairsbreadth apart. Chests heaved. Their bodies pressed together hotly.

"We have to stop meeting like this," Maura husked around a tremulous smile. Her hands snaked underneath Jane's shirt.

"No…no we don't," Jane moaned as Maura's nails scratched down her back.

She closed the minute distance between them.

*

Less than thirty minutes later, breakfast was consumed.  Jane watched with interest as Maura's assistant walked into her office mumbled and walked back out again without looking at either of them.

"Did you break him?" Jane asked.

Maura dabbed at her lips with a napkin. "We had a discussion."

"He looks scared of you now."

"As he should be."

"Whoa, what did he do?"

"I know they exist but I detest prejudices of all types, Jane."

Jane took a moment to ponder. "Oh."

"So, are you going to tell Korsak? I don't want you uncomfortable at work, Jane.  If you have to it needs to be done slowly."

Jane shrugged. "It's what I want. I don't expect anything worse than I got for being a woman. Are you worried about what they would say to you?"

Maura chuckled. "I've heard it all. Everyone thinks of me as an oddity that's not going to change anytime soon, I suppose."

"You can handle yourself, huh?"

"I'm positive in that aspect, yes."

"With that in mind, come over to my parent's for dinner tomorrow. It's gnocchi night, and they've been asking about you."

Jane endured the curious looks she was getting from Maura. "What? I think you'll be right at home. You always were."

Maura's expression became tentative. "Are you sure? I don't—"

"I'm sure."

Jane watched as Maura retreated mentally. She got a glimpse of worried eyes as they focused on the desk instead of her. "Maura?"

"Did I force you into all of this, Jane? Addison even said that it was a lot to demand of someone."

Jane sighed. She had known this conversation was going to happen sooner or later. There had been a lot of change in such a short period of time.  "Maura, look at me."

Jane met the troubled gaze.  "Do I ever do anything I don't want to do?"

Maura nodded. "Sometimes, in your job—"

"I mean in my life."

"No, not that I'm aware of."

"All the changing I've done lately was because it had to happen…it needed to happen…for me and for us."

Maura only blinked.

"Remember how scared I was even if you looked at me sideways."

"I do." Maura smiled sadly.

"The thought of losing you scared me more…scared me shitless. I didn't know anything could hurt that much."  _I never knew it would be so easy to pour my heart out to her._  "Seeing you kissing somebody else was the best thing to happen to me."

"Rejection is often a catalyst, but I had no intentions of hurting you."

Jane held up a hand.  "I know, but well, after I took the first step, everything just fell in place.  I wouldn't go back for anything."  Jane paused as sadness retreated from Maura's face chased away by hope and happiness. "You got it?"

"Yes." Maura's lips turned upward, slowly.

"Good." Jane rose from her chair, and a few seconds later found herself bent over Maura. She brushed smiling lips with her own. "Lunch probably won't happen. You want to meet me at the bar later?"

"Which one?"

"Ours." Jane answered.

Maura's smile was blinding. Jane was drawn into it like it contained its own gravitational field.

Their lips touched once more.

**

Jane threw the grease stained package on Korsak's desk. "Extra cheese and peppers just like you like it."

He peered up at her curiously and continued to watch as she threw herself in the chair on the other side of his desk.  "I get worried when you're being nice. What the hell did you do?" Korsak asked as he unwrapped his sandwich.

Jane blinked at him innocently all the while sporting a Cheshire-like grin. "Me? I'm not an ogre you know. I can be nice on occasion."

"Uh huh, what's the occasion?"  Korsak bit into the meatball sandwich and moaned.

"Ugh, should I leave you two alone?" Jane smirked.

He rolled his eyes and took another bite.

Jane fidgeted as he chewed and groaned. _Okay, how the hell do I do this?_   "Korsak? Look, I've only got a few minutes. We're still working on that stabbing.  Do you remember when I was fighting with Maura?"

"Mmm hmm."  He wiped at his chin with his tie.

"I was probably being the biggest asshole in Boston."  Jane fished in her pockets for napkins and threw them at him.

"'Kay."  Korsak glanced at her before he wound dripping cheese around his finger.

Jane watched in mild disgust and he shoved said finger into his mouth, sucking and moaning.  "We made up."

"Figured that."

"And you, uh, were right about the kissing part." Jane said in a rush. She sucked in a deep breath.

His sandwich filled hand stopped on the way to his mouth. "Are you saying—"

"Uh huh."

Korsak sat his lunch down on the stark white paper it came wrapped in. He swiped his mouth with a napkin. "So you're saying—"

"Uh huh"

"Will you stop that!" He growled. "I'm trying to talk here."

Jane held out her hands in a peaceful gesture. "Damn, sorry."

"So you two are girlfriends or something?"

Jane nodded.

Korsak leaned in and motioned with a finger for her to come closer.

She obliged him.

"Is Frost gay too?"

Jane shook her head. "No, not at all."

He tipped his head to the side and stared at her. "You sure?"

"Oh yeah."

He picked up his sandwich again.

"You gonna have a problem with this?"

"Frost knew before I did…didn't he?"

Jane met his gaze. "Yep."

His lips formed into a thin line. "I've got a problem with that."

Jane sighed. "Look, I didn't do it maliciously or to just keep a secret from you."

Korsak pointed at her with his lunch.  "That's not the point. I've always been on your side, Jane, and I've known you a hell of a lot longer than him."

Jane crossed her arms over her chest.  Her anger was swift and all encompassing. "Are. You. Kidding me! This isn't about you."

Looking contrite, Korsak leaned back in his chair. "I know. I'm sorry."

Jane released a sound of exasperation.

"You wanna keep this between you and me?" He asked.

"I don't give a damn what you do with it."

"I'm sorry Jane. It's just—"

"I know what it is Korsak. You know why I asked for a new partner.  It has nothing to do with you as a  person, and Frost is a good guy."

"I know. Can we just start again here? I'm happy for you and Maura, and if you decide to broadcast I'll be there with you one hundred percent."

Jane's anger dissipated and a relieved sigh escaped. "Thanks. I didn't want to fight with you."

"Cuz I'd kick your ass?" Korsak asked with a crooked smile.

"Nah, those meatballs have caught up with you." Jane stood and patted his belly.

 ***

Maura typed in her credit card number and smiled in delight when the transaction was completed. Momentous things had happened in her life and what better way to celebrate than with a new pair of Jimmy Choo's.

Her cell phone began to ring. Upon seeing the caller Maura teetered on the decision whether to answer it or not.  She decided on …or not.  A few seconds later her phone beeped angrily.  She glanced at it to see a text message.

_I will not b ignored. Answr phne bitch._

Maura chuckled as the ringing started once more.  "Yes?"  She answered in exasperated fashion.

"That does not sound like happiness to me. You should be happy to hear from me." Addison muttered in good humor.

"It's more akin to irritation."

"Ah, your self imposed celibacy getting to you?  Or have you fucked each other raw yet?"

"Can't I just give you six hundred dollars to go away?" Maura's tone was dripping with sarcasm.

Addison laughed. "You're only saying that because you know I'm right. There's only one day left. Pity, I could have taken the edge of quite nicely for you."

"Are we really going back there Addison? At this point, I'm almost sure you would not have been able to touch the edge of what I'm feeling."

"Whoa, I don't know whether to be in awe or jealous."

"I'm in awe of it. I'm in awe of Jane."

"That settles it. I'm officially jealous." Addison mumbled.

"Would you like me to placate you and tell you that there's someone out there?"

Addison snorted. "You know me better than that. Besides, I have to be actually looking."

"That's true, but it could also be right in your vicinity, waiting."

"You're saying it could be right in front of my face?" Addison's tone was skeptical.

"Yes."

"And…you don’t think that's placating?"

"Hmm, I see your point. Never mind then." Maura said with a smile in her voice.

"That's better. So, tell me what's going on with…Jane."

"Were you about to do that horrid Mc thing again? What is that in reference to by the way?"

"Just some weird thing I picked up in Seattle. Unfortunately, it stuck with me. Don't change the subject." Addison said.

"Well, I was afraid you were correct about forcing change on her, but we talked about it. It no longer seems to be an issue."

"So she did broadcast it from the rooftops?"

"No, she's just so much more open. She doesn't care in the least who is around. In fact, she invited me to her parents for dinner. I haven't been for a while." Maura answered.

"Do you think she told them?"

"I assume so.  I am nervous about it, still."

"Yeah, knowing something and KNOWING it are two different things." Addison added.

"Exactly."

"You just have to follow her lead."

Maura could feel herself blush.  "I haven't minded doing that at all."

"Ohh, naughty girl. So, tell me…how do you do it?"

"It?"

"How the hell do you keep the top of your head from popping off? You have to be frustrated as hell." Addison asked.

"To be honest, I have no idea. The build up and anticipation is enormous, but it is the best part. You could say that we're getting to know each other in every way possible."

"So…in other words, you're masturbating."

"Addison!"

"I love it when you scream my name like that!"

"You're terrible."

"I can't help myself." Addison laughed.

"I think you and Jane would have made great friends. You're a lot alike."

"Uh, no. I tend to steer away from people who look at me like they want to rip my lips off."

"She would do no such thing."

"Over you, I bet she would. She seems very in touch with her inner Neanderthal." Addison stated as if it were a matter of fact.

Maura sighed.

"So do you believe she's not going to hurt you now?"

Maura did not hesitate. "Yes. I believe it. I just haven't told her yet."

"Oh, I'm so getting paid."

"Addison!"

"Say it again."

"I'm hanging up now."

Addison chuckled.  "Good luck and congrats my friend."

"Thank you." Maura couldn't hide the smile in her voice.

**

Maura could feel Jane's eyes on her as they pulled up in front of her parent' house. Jane turned off the ignition and turned to Maura fully.

"You've been quiet."

Maura flashed her a look of apology. "I know. I'm sorry. I think I'm more nervous than I thought I would be. I've never met a lover's parents before.  Even though I already know yours, it's still different."

"Mm, we're not there quite yet. Lovers… I mean."

"That's a matter of semantics."

"Uh uh, if that were the case, I would have been in the shower with you rather than sitting in the living room with Bass the wonder tortoise."

Maura grinned. "I thought about inviting you."

"Really?" Jane asked as she reached out and grasped Maura's hand in her own.

"Really." Maura's stomach clenched as moist lips traced over her fingertips.

"Still, nervous?"

"No…just slightly aroused."

"Only slightly? Let's see what I can do about that." Jane closed the distance.

Maura covered Jane's face with her hand.  "I don't think so. I would like to be able to think."

"Maura, I kinda need my wips to talk."  Jane mumbled.

"Oh sorry." Maura dropped her hand.

"Thinking is overrated but as long as you're not nervous?"

"I'm not. Thanks for thinking of me."

"Always." Jane grinned and Maura wanted to get lost in her dimples.

Maura leaned forward intent on finding how well her tongue fit in the indentations.

Brown eyes sparkled back at her in the dim lighting. "Ah ah doc. If I have to be good…so do you."

"Yes, I suppose you're right." Maura said irritably.

"Okay, let's do this."

**

Upon entering, Maura closed her eyes and absorbed the energy and smells around her. The scent of cooking food and the sound of laughter were what normal families enjoyed. It was part of the reason she loved coming to the Rizzoli household. The other reason was the woman standing next to her.

Maura's eyes widened as she was greeted with hugs and kisses to the cheek. _This is new._   The hugs she had gotten used to but the kisses were aberrant.

"You two were almost late. Dinner is already hot and waitin' on the table." Angela Rizzoli muttered as she ushered them toward the dining area.

"Yeah, what were you doing? Making out?" Frankie followed.  "Ow! Ma! She hit me."

"If you'd stop putting your Goddamned foot in your mouth, I wouldn't."  Jane explained.

"Don't tease your sister." Jane's mother added.

"What happened to her setting an example?"

Angela Rizzoli rolled her eyes. "Are you two, Frankie?"

Frank Rizzoli's laughter was loud and bilious. He sat at the head of the table watching the proceedings with shining eyes. "I told ya. They'll never change."

Maura could not wipe the grin from her face. It was just as she remembered, and she felt right at home. The sense of peace and contentment that flooded her was palpable.  She peered around the table.  Her gaze met Angela's. Maura's grin widened exponentially when the woman winked back at her.

"So, Maura nice to have you back. Don’t be gone so long next time, eh?"

"I won't Mr. Rizzoli." Maura flashed her smile in his direction.

"Stop it. Call me Frank. We're family. Hell maybe one day you'll call me Pop."

"Pop!" Jane exclaimed.

"What? I’m just sayin'."  Frank Sr. threw his hands up.

Maura glanced at Jane, noting the flush that covered her face. Laughter bubbled up and exited her throat as light as air.

Jane narrowed her eyes at Maura as she passed her the gnocchi.  Jane leaned in. "What are you laughing at? You're the one grinning like an idiot." Jane smirked.

Maura bit her lip in an attempt at containment. It was of no use.

Soft lips grazed her cheek. "You're beautiful."

There was no way for Maura to hide the sudden rush of blood to her face. Instead, her gaze stayed locked with Jane's.

"Damn, what did you say to her to make her look like that?" Frankie asked in awe.

"Maybe you do have some things to learn from your sister after all." Angela Rizzoli laughed.

Maura shook her head and soaked in all the life around her.

*

Sometime later, Maura rolled up the sleeves of her powder blue blouse and tackled the pile of dishes in the sink. It was the least she could do, and she was only rinsing them after all in preparation for the dishwasher.

She could still hear Jane laughing uproariously from the next room. _She sounds so happy. I helped that happen._ Maura wondered if her heart was as swollen as it actually felt. She put the thought aside as illogical, but it did not end the pleasurable bursting sensation that had assailed her.

The sound of Jane's laughter seemed closer then it filled the kitchen as the woman in question entered. The sound tapered off slightly but the essence was still interwoven in her voice. "You didn't think I was going to let you do that by yourself did you?"

Maura glanced over her shoulder and threw a smile in Jane's direction. "I knew you would probably join me later."  She blasted a plate with the sprayer.

"You don't have to do all that. Just put them in the dishwasher."

"This will ensure they get clean."

"Maura, my father's a plumber. Don't you think he has a top of the line dishwasher and enough water pressure going to peel paint off the walls?"

"Oh, well when you put it like that…"

"Thought you'd see it my way."

They worked side by side. "So…was there anything to be nervous about?"

"No, of course not. I think this was the best time I've ever had here."

"Good," Jane muttered as she bent over to place plates in the dishwasher.

Maura smiled when arms wrapped around her from behind.  "I thought you were helping."

"I am. I'm helping myself to you." Jane whispered dangerously close to Maura's ear.

Maura quivered then hissed in pleasure as warm lips teased her ear.  Maura tilted her head back allowing greater access.

A gasp escaped her when Jane's tongue left a moist trail down her neck.

"I-I thought you were being good?"

"Changed my mind."

Hands that had just been holding her before began to rub circles on Maura's stomach.

Even through the material, Maura was stung by the heat.

With a slight tug, her blouse was freed from her pants.

"Jane…what if—"

"Shh, they're watching television."

The first contact of skin on skin sent Maura reeling.

She shuddered and her breathing went ragged.

Scorching hot hands, skimmed the muscles of her abdomen making them jerk with each touch.

Maura's nipples hardened painfully in reaction.

Before she could register the sensation, another one started.

Fingertips grazed them tentatively then, with more confidence.

Maura bit her lip to keep from crying out, but she could not help the whimper that escaped when Jane began nipping at her neck.

Reaching behind her, Maura wound her hand in Jane's hair.

"Are you….sure….you've never…done this?"

"Positive." Jane whispered hotly in her ear.

Jane's tongue flicked out again tasting her.

Hands engulfed Maura's breasts squeezing and kneading.

It was as if the silky barrier of her bra didn't exist at all.

Arousal ten times stronger than she had experienced before gushed through Maura in a mighty wave.

"Oh, God," Maura groaned. "I don't…think I can…take much more …of this."

"Tell me what you want."  Jane husked between harsh breaths.

Maura's hand flexed in dark hair, forming a fist. "Just…"  She yanked, pulling Jane closer.

When their lips touched, the world exploded around them.

Tongues met and danced ravenously. Each thrust was answered by a throbbing in Maura's center.

It left her desperate, needy. 

Maura tore her mouth away in an attempt to regain just enough equilibrium to whisper, "You…want you."

Breathing hard, they peered at each other.

Maura reached up with trembling hands. Her fingertips brushed over moist kiss swollen lips. Her world lay here within this woman…within this heart.

"Are you—?"  Maura felt the words as they fell from Jane's lips.

"Yesss," she interrupted.  The past was insignificant. Maura could not recall a time when she didn't feel this deeply…this complete. It was knowledge she could not contain and brown eyes reflected it back to her tenfold.

Jane grabbed her hand and ushered her through the living room toward the door.  "Ma! We're leaving. I'll call you tomorrow!"

Their names were called, but they ignored it all to rush to the [car](http://kd-williamson.livejournal.com/3778.html).

Maura literally had to keep her hands fisted in her lap to keep from reaching out to touch Jane. Her chest continued to heave as the correct amount of oxygen refused to circle within her lungs.

The air between them was heated and strained.

They stopped at a traffic light as it turned red. When it turned green, Jane hesitated.

As if reading her mind, Maura mumbled, "My place is closer."

The decision was made with a swerve and a screech of tires.

The destination was set.

**

Jane watched impatiently as Maura tried to unlock the door.

If another minute passed she knew that they would be a tangled, naked heap on the door step.

"Do I need to kick it open?"  Jane growled. _If I could die from this I would be buried six feet under by now._

Maura peered at her from over her shoulder. "No…I just let me try again, and if I don't get it we'll do it your way."

Jane's entire body trembled and she could only imagine what Maura was going through. Already hovering dangerously close, Jane moved closer still, feeling a fine tremor making its way through Maura's body.

She reached around her, trying to aid shaking hands.

Maura leaned into her.

They both groaned.

Jane buried her face in dark blonde hair.

As if by magic, the door opened.

Abandoned, the keys crashed on the hard wood floor, and the door was kicked shut.

They walked in quickly, nearly tripping over each other.

Desperate to feel skin, Jane's hands worked on the buttons on Maura's blouse from behind. Trembling hands deterred her. Cursing, she ripped it open to cup breasts she knew she could easily become addicted to.

Maura's surprised whimper settled in her groin and refused to leave. Hard nipples teased her hands, leaving a searing trail.

Jane wanted it all.

The last barrier between her and delectable mounds went sailing through the air like a cream colored cloud.

The softest flesh imaginable spilled into her hands. Jane growled as sensations she didn't know existed pummeled her.

It was a mass of contradictions. She felt heavy, but light as a feather. Incredibly hot, but sopping wet. Nervous but extraordinarily ready.

Most of all, she felt as though she was losing her mind and finding it again with each touch.

Her mouth took up a permanent suction at Maura's neck. Roughly, Jane kneaded full breasts, loving the fit and the feel of them. She rubbed distended nipples with her palms before plucking them with her fingertips.

"You…like this?" Jane asked brokenly.

Maura's strangled moan was the only acknowledgement Jane needed.

Needy, impatient hands eventually slid downward. The sound of Maura's zipper being lowered was just as erotic as their tattered breathing. Jane dipped inside, cupping Maura over her panties.

She nearly fell to her knees.

Jane moaned loudly and couldn't keep her hips from undulating against the shapely rear nestled in her crotch.

The heat was unbearable.

The wetness was divine.

Maura came apart in her arms, filling the air with her cries.

Impatiently, they both pushed at Maura's slacks and panties.  Maura's clothing and shoes went flying. They stumbled nearly crashing into the wall. Maura's arm shot out stopping them just in time.

Jane wrestled with her own jeans and underwear, nearly ripping them from her body. They came together with hardly a barrier between them. Jane moaned helplessly as Maura used the leverage she had through the wall to push her rear end against throbbing flesh.

Widening her stance, Jane's hips thrust of their own volition, smearing her wetness. It was just the right pressure to drive her insane.  "Fuck!"

Wrapping her arms tightly around Maura, she pulled her closer, gyrating against her shamelessly. Hungrily, her hands brushed against bouncing breasts before moving southward. Jane stopped when her fingertips touched a patch of soft, crisp hair.

Sudden nerves assailed her.

Almost immediately, Maura's hand covered her own, moving them back toward the intended destination.

Maura sobbed.

Breath exploded from Jane's chest.

Everything went gray.

Nothing had prepared her for the molten wet heat and petal like softness of Maura. Fingers guided her through swollen flesh to familiar territory. She moved in slow teasing circles, matching the grind of her own hips.

Maura whimpered and pressed against her harder and urged her fingers to do the same.

Jane was more than happy to oblige.

They moved in jerky uncoordinated movements. Maura's head turned and lips met clumsily and clung hotly.

One hand encased Maura's chest, torturing rigid nipples.  While the other slid further down still seeking out the source of heat

.Jane slipped inside effortlessly.

They both groaned loudly at the pleasant intrusion. The sound was nearly lost as tongues dueled.

Jane didn't have it in her to go slow. She wanted too much. Needed too much.

Their lips parted.

Putting the other hand against the wall, Maura moaned unchecked, riding Jane and unhinging her.

"Maura," she whimpered. The cadence of Jane's hips doubled to a frenetic pace. Sweat dripped down their bodies, making them slide against each other more easily. Blinding pleasure started in the pit of her stomach and blossomed outward, fraying every cell in its conflagration.

"MAURA!" Each pump of Jane's hips pushed her higher. She bit into waiting flesh and groaned at Maura's cry and the subsequent gush that drenched her hand.

They stood there, quivering and shaken.

Jane was home.

**

Somehow they made it to the bedroom. For that, Jane would be forever grateful.  Jane shuddered as naked skin slid over her own. Maura slithered up her body like a cat bringing the sheets with her.

No matter how many times they touched, it was never enough.

Their lips connected fervently.

Jane moaned as she tasted herself. She wrapped her arms around Maura as she collapsed on top of her, still panting.

Their eyes met and gazed deeply.

Jane's smile was slow but easy. Feeling it split her face, she whispered, "I love you."

Maura glowed. "I know."

 ***

The next morning, Maura awakened on the last vestiges of an erotic dream. She peered down her body to see that reality was so much better.

She watched mesmerized as a pink tongue flicked out to encircle her nipple, bringing it to a stiff peak. Maura moaned as the bit of flesh disappeared deep into the recesses of Jane's mouth. Her back arched, pushing it impossibly deeper.

Maura's hands disappeared into inky tresses. Those same hands then slid down Jane's well muscled back, clawing into damp skin. With a slight yank, she crushed their bodies together.

With a moist plop, her nipple was released.

"Were you dreaming about me?"  Jane asked. Her voice was still roughened from sleep.

"God, yes." Maura answered hoarsely.

Between her legs, a faucet ran at full blast.

Slim hips dovetailed into her own. A ragged moan bubbled up from her throat.

"I can do better," Jane murmured saucily.

Without warning, Maura was suddenly filled.

Her cry melted into Jane's mouth.

Pleasure, thick and sweet, raced up her spine and bloomed between her thighs.

Each thrust was slow, relentless, and unbelievably teasing.

The full blast was fast becoming a waterfall.

The slide of Jane's tongue over her own meshed perfectly with the story unraveling down below.

Like a locomotive hard at work, each plunge went deeper and became harder. Slow and teasing became a desperate, delicious pounding.

It was exactly what Maura needed.

She tore her mouth away, releasing hungry whimpers into the air.

Needing an anchor, her nails dug into Jane's back and held on for dear life.

The room was alive with frayed breathing, tantalizing moans, and the slapping of wet flesh.

Eyes that were closed before sprang open and glazed.

Still, Maura could see all that she needed.

Strands of dark hair stuck to Jane's sweaty face and moist lips, but her eyes shone brightly in the dim light of morning.

They watched her with hawk-like precision.

She was a predator conquering her prey.

Maura was held captive by the pleasure teeming through her body. Jane was responsible. Maura loved every second of it.  "You…like me like …this." 

It wasn't a statement but a matter of fact.

Jane moaned. "Fuck yes."

Undoubtedly to prove her point, Jane grasped a thigh spreading it further and lifting it higher.

Maura's last shred of sanity dissipated.

Fingers that were deep before went further, touching her soul.

Orgasm slammed into her with gigantic waves.

"Jane!" exited Maura's lips as she dealt with the resounding crash.

Long minutes later, Maura's eyes opened slowly. Soft hands pushed the hair off of Maura's face. "Mmm, morning," she murmured.

"Mmm hmm."  Jane leaned down and their lips brushed softly. She grinned rakishly.

Maura wondered briefly at the expression before she groaned languidly as fingers still buried within her twisted.

She caught fire again.

"If we keep this up, we're never leaving this room."

"Told you we should've gotten snacks."

*

Sometime later, while Jane was in the bathroom, Maura picked up her cell phone and sighed. She punched the letters quickly before she lost her nerve.

_Cash, check or charge?_

 

 


End file.
